The Undergraduate Magazine of Columbia University, est. 1890
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Digitalia Columbiana

These excerpts were culled from documents left on Columbia’s lab computers. We encourage our readers to submit their own digitalia finds to us, via e-mail, at theblueandwhite@columbia.edu.

harm whoever sez it like medusa?
Lover prefers a different kind of conquest


By adopting the techniques and language of landscape-painting, Tolstoy ultimately flattens the entire three dimensional worlds into two dimensions and forces the reader to acknowledge both their own limitations as readers and Tolstoy's limitations as writer to get beyond dichotomy and binary codes.


The fatal shot splits through Kennedy's blonde head, launching cranial ejecta into the Dallas afternoon sky. The film stops, rewinds, and begins replaying the final frames of Kennedy's life. His skull tears open. Stop. Rewind. His skull tears open. Stop. Rewind. His skull tears open.]

[Fade to text saying, "Are you sure you'd like a SILVER BULLET today?"]
[Long pause.]

[Fade into the BUD LIGHT logo. ]


Imagine this: a great Hunnic conqueror dies from a simple nosebleed during his marriage feast.


I've never cooked something so complicated before. Normally I would not have the attention span. Sometimes I do not have the attention span for boiling. What kept me focused for the hours of cutting and cubing and measuring and stirring was imagining myself as the person who went through all those steps for us.


By the end of the day in the stone chambers, everything we wanted to find was inside each other, and we landed on each other's chest with a triumphant index finger.


Only a few seconds pass when Karen angrily directs him again and tells him to go sit on the rug. Tyler hastily scrambles the book closed and shuffles over to the rug. Upon his arrival, Karen confronts him and in a condescending tone says, "Tyler, are you deaf? Did you no hear me the first time? When I say put away your book, you need to listen. Do you listen your parents at home?" With his head bent low and his eyes peering across the room, Tyler meekly shakes his head 'yes.' Karen huffs away and proceeds to use a loud voice instructing the class as the rest of the students arrive at the community rug.


TECHNICIAN: It seems that there is something wrong with the core.

PLANT MANAGER: The CORE'S bad? How do you know?

TECHNICIAN [points to huge array of lights] : Well, these lights monitor all the power CORES in this plant. See right here? This CORE'S LIGHT is weak and unfulfilling! It flat out stinks! Our city needs to replace these CORES with something more substantial!

PLANT MANAGER: You mean our big disaster was caused by this CORE'S LIGHT? [Turns, winks at camera]

TECHNICIAN: Yes.

PLANT MANAGER: Argh, I am visibly angry!


watch as the melonated score plays itself out from favelas in brasil to the ghettos of arkansas

she feels the joyous cooling water of the ocean
tides moving her until all she can say is
yes
yes
yes
it's cool if aunt jackie never does the dutty wine
as long as she don't get down with uncle tom

we swallowed our drums
and now be-box on corners


Lionel Trilling (Columbia College 1925, Ph.D. 1938, Faculty 1927—74) was one of the most public of the twentieth century's public intellectuals.


Chained by the wrists to a rock, she has nowhere to go. She can only watch as the sea monster splashes from the coast, as she dreads her impending death.


WARN ALL FEMALES E.G. WIVES, DAUGHTERS, GIRL FRIENDS ETC..

Bottled water in your car...very dangerous, woman!!!!
This is how Sheryl Crow got breast cancer. She was on the Ellen show and said this same exact thing. This has been identified as the most common cause of the high levels in breast cancer, especially in Australia ..

A friend whose mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The Doctor told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car.

The doctor said that the heat and the plastic of the bottle have certain chemicals that can lead to breast cancer. So please be careful and do not drink bottled water that has been left in a car, and, pass this on to all the women in yo ur life. This information is the kind we need to know and be aware and just might save us!!!! The heat causes toxins from the plastic to leak into the water and they have found these toxins in breast tissue. Use a stainless steel Canteen or a glass bottle when you can!!!


3. Most important, I think my sense of humor will keep me afloat, as it always does. I expect that showing that sense of humor will be a challenge, however, without the ease of communicating in a language I know — Molly herself noted at one point in her blog that it took a little bit of time before she could joke in Spanish with her host family, which allowed her personality to come through better.


4. I've never lived in a developing country and although I've lived in areas less well off than Morningside Heights in Manhattan, I've never lived in an area impoverished in the way I understand Xela to be. As I've mentioned a few times already, I have lived in foreign countries with amenities different than those available to me as a student at Columbia. Of course I understand the situation in Xela will probably be more extreme than these situations, but I'm certainly not a posh upper class, spoiled rich kid who needs her Starbucks every day. Better answer?


7. I've cleaned my room before; that's manual labor if there ever was such a thing as manual labor. In seriousness though, I've never participated in a program where there's manual labor involved in the way that its involved in the Somos Hermanos summer immersion program. But I am an active person and in a big way love using my hands and body for productive use. I've painted my room on my own many times, I love to work out, I'm crafty and enjoy things like ceramics, drawing, and oil painting. I'm one of those odd people who dreads my week of the bathroom cleaning rotation, but then finds myself actually enjoying cleaning the bathroom (and also being done cleaning the bathroom).


2. Fishcakes: creates breaks, continuities from different angles, and in doing so embeds temporal space within new spaces

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