The Bwog
Senior Wisdom: Jesse Cooper
Previous Post | Next Post

Name, School: Jesse Cooper, CC 08

Claim to fame: BWOG Mario Kart Tournament Champion,

Post-grad plans: Proctoring SATs, Mowing Lawns, going to the West Coast, finding a home, working for Steve and Barry's

Preferred swim test stroke? CHICKEN-T-SWIM BABY! The Inverted backstroke. Yeah, its alright.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1) I can drink a whole Hennessey fifth. Some call it a problem, I just call it a gift. (To plagarize Xzibit). Oh I guess I learned that too.

2) Anytime there is free anything, line up about 5 hours early. When student council advertises 100 free anything, keep in mind that 60 of them go to members of the student council and their closest friends

3) The ability to bullshit 5-7 pages about absolutely anything, with footnotes, in 5 hours or less. Its really a remarkable but invaluable skill.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

Anyone who can proudly admit to still liking Limp Bizkit deserves a nod, right?

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

When I found out that despite his bitter departure, PresBo continues to root for Michigan football. O-H-I-O GO BUCKEYES.

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

The ability to get a group of friends to do just about anything with you at anytime of the night good or bad. This is actually going to be a reasonable answer. Want to play ball, send out a mass text, next thing you know, half of Wein is on South Field. Want JJ's at 3AM? Once again, there will be 15 people waiting there. Its just a remarkable aspect of how small Columbia is, anything from partying to playing put-put at Chelsea piers is always an option with a group of people.

Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Kenneth Jackson. He's got that sweet Southern Charm, stays fit riding bikes and unquestionably has done a walking tour of every single one of the most awesome lookout points in the city.

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

Don't know but send them to Watson House.

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

Lactose intolerant, this one is easy.

Days on Campus memory?

I was in a traffic jam on the way home from a high school baseball tournament. Baseball or kegger maybe that's what I regret.

Regrets?

Gotta learn to live with regrets (plagiarizing again, Jay-Z).

See also: Senior Wisdom, Senior Wisdom 2008

May 17, 2008 @ 1:15 PM | Comments 20 comments | Add comment Post a comment | Link to this article | | | Share on Facebook

Posted by Fascinating: #1 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 1:20 PM (from campus)
not.
Posted by finally, a good one: #2 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 1:28 PM
jesse's awesome. newark represent!
Posted by good shit: #3 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 1:39 PM (from campus)
this was great. jesse's an awesome guy, and that photo is the best senior wisdom shot I've seen. and great calls about learning to write 5-7 pages on anything in a couple hours, and also student council hoarding half the free shit for their friends. very glad to see Jesse up here. Well-deserved
Posted by this is: #4 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 1:44 PM (from campus)
amazing
Posted by takeoutbox: #5 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 2:10 PM
haha seems like majority of barnard girls had actual post grad plans whereas cc kids are doing shit
Posted by trrrsh: #6 (in reply to #5) · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 2:20 PM (from campus)
I seem to remember 2 Barnard girls profiled... so the Barnard graduating class is 3 people?
Posted by takeoutbox: #7 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 2:23 PM
uh no. i believe there were three. and 2/3 had jobs. not to mention majority of cc kids are being ski bumbs, hiking on a fucking mountain, or working at steve and barrys. excellent
Posted by What: #8 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 3:07 PM
is Watson House?
Posted by lolz: #9 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 3:29 PM
if it takes 5 hours to write 5-7 pages, you haven't learned enough at columbia. thats like a 3 hour job, if that much
Posted by yes...: #10 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 5:05 PM
what is watson house?
Posted by ugh: #11 (in reply to #7) · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 5:19 PM
takeoutbox you have some serious inferiority issues that you need to get over.
Posted by i dig: #12 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 5:48 PM
when fellas defend themsleves on bwog.
Posted by trrrsh: #13 (in reply to #7) · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 7:47 PM (from campus)
There are 2 Barnard profiles and one wasn't sure what they were going to do (or didn't specifically name a company/position). Hmmm, by your logic, the "majority" of Barnard girls is 50%. Take your head out of your ass.
Posted by 4MY: #14 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 11:17 PM (from campus)
That picture is amazing, Cooper 4 Prez!
Posted by booyakasha: #15 · reply · track
May 17, 2008 at 11:25 PM
amazing, four years of school here and trrrsh and takeoutbox both cannot come to terms with the fact that it does not even matter in the end!!!!

ps -- yes, bwog profiles for sure are the best way to generalize a whole entire class of 500 people (or more, for that matter).
Posted by haha: #16 · reply · track
May 18, 2008 at 12:11 AM
really great that somebody thinks barnard girls are more successful than cc ones judging by senior wisdom. and that he/she typed "ski bumbs." sweet spelling.
Posted by this dude: #17 · reply · track
May 18, 2008 at 1:42 AM
is a g. was in my caribbean history class...sorry we didnt learn about more bob marley, man.
Posted by Please: #18 · reply · track
May 18, 2008 at 1:39 PM (from campus)
no more senior wisdoms from people who really have no wisdom to offer. Is there anything remotely interesting or inspiring in that? Good for him if he can drink a fifth of hennessy/ quote xzibit.
Posted by right on the mark: #19 · reply · track
May 18, 2008 at 4:45 PM (from campus)
2) Anytime there is free anything, line up about 5 hours early. When student council advertises 100 free anything, keep in mind that 60 of them go to members of the student council and their closest friends

So true...I'm even saying this as a student council member!!!

(I guess I'm getting my Light Blue t-shirt then now, huh...)
Posted by effin eh: #20 (in reply to #19) · reply · track
May 18, 2008 at 4:50 PM (from campus)
Forgot the word "NOT"
Name:
(Log In | Register your identity)

Email:
Reply to:

Describe this color in one lowercase word.

About Us

Bwog is compiled by the staff of The Blue and White, Columbia University's undergraduate magazine.

Contact Us

Please send tips to bwgossip@columbia.edu.

Questions or concerns? Email bweditors@columbia.edu.

Bwog is always looking for new writing talent. Email bwog@columbia.edu.

In Print

Search

Comment Policy

Our Favorite Comments

Clearly: [read]
"the freshmen yearn for a return to the womb."
What do you : [read]
"need if you're buying a musical instrument today? A Chopin Liszt!"

Bwogroll

National Blogs
IvyGate
Papertrail
Open University
Wonkette

City Blogs
Gothamist
Gawker
Craigslist
City Room (New York Times)
Overheard in New York
Community Board 9
Stop Columbia
Eater
Curbed

Other School Blogs
Wesleying
Gadfly (Harvard)
MadsVassarBlog
Sex and the Ivy (Harvard)
Elliot Back (Cornell)
OnwardState (Penn State)

Columbia Blogs
WikiCU
Light Reading
GS Lounge
Columbian Cokane
The Hungry Lion
Roar Lions Roar
Phlog
the(pro)be
EcoReps
Columbia Dems
The Blaaag
Editor Josh
The One Train
Lumilux
Igloo on Wheels
Bored@Butler
Five Plus One
The Columbia Critic
Queued Paper
The Columns
ReflectivePundit
wang.
2nd Law
el participante Commentariat
The Core Junction
Off Broadway
CollegeOTR
Greater or Smaller
The Mayor's Hotel
Barnard Zines
Peter and Rob Make Lists of Things

Technical

Our headlines are syndicated through Atom.
This site is powered by the Publicate Content Management System, which is available for free.
Our interface icons are from the free Silk set.