The Bwog
Surprisingly Useful Last-Minute Purchases

Bwog spies report that the first batch of West Coast Terrible 12s have arrived on campus, with the others following in the next day or so. Because we were all once first-years -- and the 12s need all the help they can get -- we've put together a list of Surprisingly Useful Last-Minute things to pick up on the way to school. Use the comment section to suggest your own (or argue with ours). The 12s will reward you lavishly with praise and appreciation.

  • Stationery, even if it's just a set of Post-It notes, you will make surprisingly good use of it
  • A pair of scissors
  • Stamps and envelopes
  • A Sharpie, or perhaps a set of several
  • For girls: A box -- an old shoebox is fine -- for all your jewelery. It will get dusty in desk/bureau drawers
  • Towels, bring more towels than you think you'll need
  • Duct tape
  • Scotch tape
  • Gummy stuff for your walls
  • Stapler
  • Paper clips
  • Anything for attaching things to other things, actually
  • A big colorful cloth to use as a curtain, emergency sarong, hammock, or wall hanging
  • A heightened tolerance for group activities
  • Bottle opener
  • Check book (wallet insurance)
  • Ruler (to jam your window open)
  • Milk crate (for floppy magazines)
  • Phone charger x2 (unless you know how to work a Rolm)
  • Phone battery x2 (especially if you like to sleep out)
  • Tacks, not tape or blue tack (easier on moving day)
  • Backup hard drive (or else: "I can't hang out, my computer broke.")
  • Book stops (for shelf over bed safety, a Hartley problem)
  • Ear plugs
  • Long johns (when pants won't suffice)
  • Eighties clothes (for temporary hipster approximation)
  • Real condoms (you'll understand someday)
  • Galoshes (to protect your feet)
  • Picnic cloth (for splitting the spoils of cafeteria raids)
  • Gimmick (you are a unique, shining jewel)
  • Ethernet cable (make sure it is of suitable length, around 10 feet usually works)
  • A cable cable, if you want to watch TV
  • Exacto knife or sharp scissors, possible small hole puncher- for John Jay and Furnald people (keys)


Posted by wetfeet: #1 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:13 PM (from campus)
Rainboots are a must! Campus turns into a swamp in the rain.
Posted by what: #2 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:13 PM
is a fake condom?
Posted by hmm: #3 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:27 PM
a dry erase board. for your door.
Posted by fake condom: #4 (in reply to #2) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:46 PM
res. life provided condoms. they're too damn small
Posted by real condoms?: #5 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:50 PM (from campus)
srsly? nyc condoms/lifestyles are perfectly fine in almost all cases.
Posted by ditto: #6 (in reply to #1) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:53 PM
Totally agree, I was dumb and waited until my senior year to get rainboots. They are totally necessary for rain and snow on this campus.

Also, bring an umbrella. And a hotpot for the covert in-room cooking of tea and mac and cheese.
Posted by zoidberg: #7 (in reply to #2) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 2:59 PM
one of those canvas condoms that say "i am not a latex condom"
Posted by totally: #8 (in reply to #5) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 3:32 PM
right about "real condoms." once i thought i was so smart, having those nyc condoms around until me (and the guy) realized that it was way too small--and he wasnt like huge or anything, but they're supposidly a tight and uncomfortable fit.

some other things that come in handy:

flip flops

flashlight

ipod/ipod charger/dock

lots of water bottles or soda cans

hooded sweatshirts

sneakers (a few pairs)

pics of family/friends

vanity mirror (if youre a girl)

bottle of whisky

sunglasses

dvds

looseleaf paper/index cards

cookies!

camera

journal
Posted by second the whiskey: #9 (in reply to #8) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 3:46 PM
preferably a decent bourbon or scotch. have some cheap stuff around too for when you realize columbia has a lot of downsides (few attractive people, bureaucracy that makes your life miserable, alumni and career center that won't actually help you get employed, etc.) and need to get trashed.
Posted by true: #10 (in reply to #9) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 4:08 PM (from campus)
you can't go wrong with a good bottle of whisky.
Posted by stephan: #11 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 4:30 PM (from campus)
doesn't leave home without his abs
Posted by whiskey's no good : #12 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 4:31 PM (from campus)
without cups, shot glasses, mugs, and more cups. you will find use for any drinking vessel you bring.

also get a microwave-safe plate, bowl, and mug + utensils

and get some room spray or a plug-it-in for funky smells that you can't control
Posted by check yoself!: #13 (in reply to #12) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 5:04 PM
vessels? whiskey comes in a bottle doesn't it? what more do you require? how is that no good?
Posted by friendly local wag: #14 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 5:54 PM
And in addition to that "stationary," you might want to buy a dictionary.
Posted by hi bwog: #15 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 5:55 PM
it's "stationery"
Posted by plates?: #16 (in reply to #12) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 6:17 PM
you don't need plates or bowls... that is what john jay dishes and silverware are for.

if anything get tupperware that way you can steal rice krispie treats and things like that from john jay.
Posted by not a frosh: #17 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 6:36 PM
also, remember to bring some pepto-bismol to go with your meal plan.

or Tums!
Posted by Anonymous: #18 (in reply to #17) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 6:47 PM
Nah, only spoiled assholes have problems with that. For us middle and lower class kids, it's just like eating some hamburger helper.
Posted by umm no: #19 (in reply to #18) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 6:55 PM
The middle class doesn't eat hamburger helper. I should know, my parents make $4.9 million a year so I'm not rich and not poor and I certainly don't do hamburger helper
Posted by emphasis: #20 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 7:06 PM
seriously, don't forget your stapler!!!! even professors won't have staplers but will expect that you hand in your papers, problem sets, and hws stapled get the small cheap ones even to throw in your pencil case to carry around with you everywhere but please don't forget a STAPLER!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by just in case: #21 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 7:42 PM
you know, in the terrible emergency that you might forget one of these little trinkets, you may be able to find an alternate somewhere around, you know, nyc.
Posted by whitecollar: #22 (in reply to #19) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:09 PM
your parents make 4.9 million a year and you're not rich? what planet are you living on?
Posted by i am: #23 (in reply to #19) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:10 PM
just going to assume that's a joke.

ha ha!
Posted by Anonymous: #24 (in reply to #22) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:19 PM
Apparently you haven't been watching the Presidential race very closely.
Posted by 12err: #25 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:23 PM
here to lavish you guys with praise and appreciation. your whiskey suggestion just may save my life
Posted by who are you: #26 (in reply to #17) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:39 PM (from campus)
is that Jamie?
Posted by verytrue: #27 (in reply to #8) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 8:56 PM
you were right on with everything you said....especially the whiskey. dont forget the whiskey kids.
Posted by more: #28 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 9:26 PM
febreeze, for when doing your laundry just isn't an option

a small baking pan, because eating raw cookie dough is, while delicious, quite sad

a watch- if you don't wear one yet, nows the time to start

lots of socks- because of the aforementioned campus swamp

Lots of hair elastics

Fun makeup (eurotrash only happens once a semester-make it count)

Your yearbook

Your acceptance letter- for those times you feel like you shouldn't be here

Your yearbook
Posted by Maker's Mark: #29 (in reply to #9) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 9:29 PM
Maker's Mark, Maker's Mark

You're so expensive in the city.

Someday, my cruel mistress,

you will cease to drain my bank account.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.
Posted by 12err: #30 (in reply to #28) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 9:57 PM
wait whats eurotrash?

Posted by also: #31 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 10:13 PM
for the very few days of nice weather, you'll want a frisbee
Posted by The: #32 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 10:35 PM
res life condoms aren't durable at all, at least not for filling squids in them
Posted by FAVORITE: #33 (in reply to #30) · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 11:24 PM
COMMENT. AHAHAHAHAHA.

Only nerds use condoms here. My room was like a 24/7 bakery, serving creampies every day.
Posted by you dumb shit: #34 · reply · track
August 24, 2008 at 11:45 PM
I bet they were spoiled.

Sidenote: Extra storage is always useful, and easy to stash under beds.
Posted by O RLY: #35 (in reply to #22) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 12:06 AM
According to uh, someone, the definition of rich is someone who's income >= 5 million
Posted by why: #36 (in reply to #28) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 12:15 AM
would you bring your yearbook? that is simply a terrible idea. you won't see any of your high school 'friends' again. most of them were douches anyway. leave that at home.

also your acceptance letter. if you need to be comforted with something like that to make you feel like you can succeed, you probably can't succeed and should just drop out now.

those are best left at home, so you can reminisce about your childhood, but at least give it a year.
Posted by Yo man: #37 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 1:00 AM
This list is mad wack. All you need is a bucket of booze, some heady nugg, and a bodacious brigade of bitches or bros to hose you down after doing the dirty.
Posted by as;dl: #38 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 1:17 AM
bring disinfectant. for your room, for the bathroom, for your roommate, or whatever. shit is dirty.
Posted by Yo!: #39 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 1:30 AM
Mcain is absolutely right. All of us who make less than $5million should get financial aid.
Posted by also: #40 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 2:04 AM
headphones unless you want your roommate to drunkenly piss on your bed while you're out.

i regret nothing you boy band blasting piece of shit
Posted by Nope: #41 (in reply to #34) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 2:35 AM
So fresh, you could still see wisps of steam rising as they headed for the door.
Posted by ...: #42 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 2:38 AM (from campus)
be sure not to forget:

1) "magic" credit card that doesn't come with an associated bill

2) prescription for whatever the pharmaceutical companies are calling speed this year (health services is stingy on that one)
Posted by also: #43 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 3:58 AM
a box of tissues

lube

an extra garbage can - the ones provided are way too small
Posted by since at least: #44 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 5:35 AM
3 people missed the 4.9 mill joke, im guessing these new kids have yet to discover that little guy we see lurking around this beloved campus. his name is Irony, he's quite sweet but, if you're not yet acquainted, he might just shoot you. it's a very dangerous situation, because, i mean, how can you know everybody?
Posted by ...: #45 (in reply to #44) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 8:24 AM (from campus)
you are the same person who has t-shirts like "Sarcasm: just one more service I provide"
Posted by actually: #46 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 8:47 AM
Eurotrash happens twice a year (but the second one is not all ages). but it's amazing both times

and 12er - you'll learn when you get here
Posted by Seriously: #47 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 9:21 AM
Think of what you use at home at least once a month, and just bring that. No need for all this extra crap people are suggesting. It just makes moving a bigger pain in the ass.

Also, whiskey is great, but I would avoid it if you're a police commisioner and a clown villian has made a threat on your life. Switch to the cognac.
Posted by condom user: #48 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 9:31 AM
I agree that the NYC condoms are a little tight, but the other Lifestyles ones are just fine. I've never heard anyone complain about them. And anyway, most RAs will pick up a few of the extra large ones for people with slightly longer egos.
Posted by hohoho: #49 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 9:48 AM
Now that people are trickling back to school, the number of comment of bwog skyrockets...

so school=boredom?
Posted by hahaha: #50 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 10:00 AM (from campus)
Slightly longer egos! hahahaha
Posted by unfortunately: #51 (in reply to #44) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 10:08 AM
sarcasm does not always translate over the internet.
Posted by sdffs: #52 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 10:37 AM
Lifestyle "King Size" condoms are significantly smaller than other extra large condoms, I think they're designed specifically to make people feel big.
Posted by it's true: #53 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 11:39 AM
about the nyc condoms. i'm not very big but last time i used one, that thing had my dick in a chokehold.
Posted by what: #54 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 12:02 PM
who puts their jewelry in a shoe box???

Posted by so glad: #55 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 1:49 PM (from campus)
to have you back my fellow Columbians. It has been a boring ass summer without you!
Posted by people: #56 (in reply to #54) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 1:49 PM
who watched the bleeped out version of "My Dick in a Box"
Posted by ...: #57 (in reply to #44) · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 2:10 PM (from campus)
oh i get it. you're being ironic by pretending to try too hard... good plan.
Posted by heads up: #58 · reply · track
August 25, 2008 at 4:48 PM
everyone's mentioning condoms, but don't forget lube. a lot of folks are virgins and most girls (and indirectly guys as well...or i guess directly too depending on your preference) could really benefit from a dab of the stuff their first time around
Posted by ...: #59 · reply · track
August 26, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I'm guessing you're a virgin
Posted by i found: #60 · reply · track
August 26, 2008 at 12:57 PM
the most surprising thing that became incredibly useful was a sleeping bag
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