The Bwog
The Case of the Missing Spicy Chicken

JJ's-devotees were certainly in a shock this fall. Sure from a cursory glance, JJ's looks great! So many frozen meals! So much ice cream!

However, once you stepped up to that familiar counter, a perennial favorite was missing- the spicy chicken! The spicy strips of chicken breast were deep-fried to a tender and moist perfection. Great with any dipping sauce, or even on its own. Few items on the JJ's menu could compete with such a culinary delight.

When asked, the JJ's employees could not provide any details on the disappearance of such a widely-demanded item. One employee admitted, "Yeah a lot of people have been asking for it," but denied any involvement with the sudden departure, "[The decision] comes from the higher-ups."

Alas! Do not lose all hope, one inside source suggested that a petition may revive this Columbia cornerstone. We can only hope.

-LT

See also: Jjs, Mystery

Posted by Grammar Police: #1 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:34 PM
"its own"
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #2 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:48 PM
I have escaped to a different place. I'd say a better place. A place where I can enjoy not being drowned in honey mustard and masticated. And where I can check Bwog.
Posted by Student: #3 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:49 PM
Do not think you have escaped, Spicy Chicken! I will find you. No matter how far, no matter how long it takes, I will find you!
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #4 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:53 PM
Unless you are Daniel Day Lewis, Student, I'm not afraid. Sounds like an empty threat.
Posted by Other Student: #5 (in reply to #3) · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:53 PM
How very Last of the Mohicans of you.
Posted by Student: #6 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:53 PM
It's not a threat, it's a promise.

And it seems you've slipped up, Spicy! I now know your email address.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #7 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:54 PM
Drat!

But it does you no good, either of you. Go ahead and email me. You still won't find me.
Posted by Student: #8 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:56 PM
Is that so? Let me ask you this. When you decided to run away and hide, did you ever think to take Seasoned Chicken with you? No you didn't. You're heartless, Spicy, leaving your brother like that. Maybe I don't want you after all.
Posted by GRILLED CHEESE: #9 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:57 PM
JJ's Has GRILLED CHEESE now though! I just had one and it's unbelievable! They're available today and Wednesdays until midnight! Go NOW!

Posted by Spicy Chicken: #10 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:57 PM
You still want me! Everybody wants Spicy! Spicy is better than Seasoned!
Posted by Student: #11 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:58 PM
I've just discovered that jj's has grilled cheese. Maybe I don't want chicken at all now!
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #12 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 5:59 PM
How dare you!!!
Posted by ummm: #13 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:00 PM
this happened last year, too. and then enough people complained that they brought it back.
Posted by Student: #14 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:00 PM
I might go get some grilled cheese RIGHT NOW! I'll be there in five.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #15 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:01 PM
Not if I get there first. I'll be there in four!
Posted by Student: #16 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:02 PM
Aha! I now know your email address AND that you are four minutes from JJ's. I'm zeroing in Spicy.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #17 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:02 PM
Oh. I see what you did there.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #18 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:03 PM
Well so what. There are still lots of places I could be on campus.
Posted by Student: #19 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:03 PM
So you are on campus?
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #20 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:04 PM
Damn your good!
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #21 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:04 PM
I mean no... I'm not on campus.
Posted by Student: #22 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:05 PM
You lie. You always use ellipses when you lie. It's your tell. It's why you never play poker with me.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #23 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:05 PM
You took me for 1200 dollars! Of course I won't play poker with you.
Posted by Student: #24 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:06 PM
And you still haven't paid. With interest, I'd say you owe around 2000 now.
Posted by Spicky Chicken: #25 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:07 PM
Is that what this is about. The money? I thought you really liked me. But if it's about the money... I can pay.
Posted by Student: #26 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:08 PM
SPICY! Don't play games with me!
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #27 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:09 PM
Just give me until the end of the week. I promise, I'll get you the money!
Posted by Student: #28 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:10 PM
No, it's to late for that now. You're going to pay me my way.
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #29 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:10 PM
With Flex?
Posted by wow. : #30 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:10 PM
Spicy Chicken/Student needs a life.

Track them--it's all the same person.
Posted by Student: #31 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:11 PM
Don't try to get cute, Spicy! You're going to pay me in deliciousness!
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #32 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:12 PM
Wait a minute.
Posted by Student: #33 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:12 PM
Did wow say we're the same person?
Posted by Spicy Chicken: #34 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:13 PM
Getting—dizzy, Growing—weaker,
Posted by Student: #35 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:15 PM
On the contrary. I've never felt so alive. I may even venture away from my computer—and not just to go down to JJs, but to go OUTSIDE!

YES! YES I WILL!

As god is my witness, I'll never stay on Bwog this long again!
Posted by Narrator: #36 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:16 PM
Yet even in his weakened state, Spicy was not vanquished. He would return.

But without Student there to stop him, what then?

For that, we will have to wait.
Posted by Gross: #37 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 6:56 PM
this conversation is just slightly messed up.

but we're missing an important thing here

Why is student government in such a hurry to breathlessly publish irrelevant statements on Mahmoud, but not investigating this domestic travesty?? dereliction of duty!! Impeach Diamond and her worthless cabal!
Posted by GRILLED CHEESE: #38 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 7:01 PM
Well, I don't know what all that was about, but JJ's still has GRILLED CHEESE!
Posted by Student Gvmts: #39 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 7:10 PM
have some members who have a major problem with it. We'll eventually find the Spicy Chicken, fear not!
Posted by Grammar Police^2: #40 · reply · track
September 23, 2007 at 7:48 PM
That sentence is a fragment so the whole thing is grammatically incorrect. Moreover, neither "its own" nor "it's own" agree with the antecedent in number. You were looking for "their own".

University Writing much?
Posted by stfu : #41 · reply · track
September 24, 2007 at 12:06 AM
damn all you grammer po-lice policing the interwebz and shit
Posted by C""K: #42 · reply · track
September 24, 2007 at 2:22 AM
LT you can't refer to yourself as an "inside source"
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