New Yorkers may spend more time underground than denizens of every other town, so says the New York Times. But those of you planning to explore the Columbia tunnel system had better do it now, reports Bwog trailblazer Armin Rosen. Because after almost forty years of the tunnels being locked, guarded and officially closed off to students, administration has vowed to lock, guard and officially close the tunnels off to students....

I guess there's a chance that this is something more than administrative redundancy, and that spelunkers will find the school's sprawling system of claustrophobic underground passageways forever sealed off by swipe-points, security cameras, one-way doors (the kind with a knob on only one side of the door; common throughout the system and the subject of much speculation among tunnelers) a nd other means of depriving the enterprising student of fun and adventure. But I doubt it. My personal opinion is that the tunnels, which contain water and power conduits, generators, storage rooms and other facilities vital to the functioning of this school will remain inadvertently unlocked so long as people will have to frequently enter and leave them. Indeed, it didn't take a lock-pick or a sledgehammer to gain entrance to the tunnels under the Schermerhorn extension on a Tuesday morning in December. A maintenance worker had serendipitously left the door open.

Today is the first workday of Queer Awareness Month, and the works are certainly in progress. Alma is bracketed by a floating balloon-rainbow and several students are seated at a table in front of her, handing out treats. Skip along to Low Plaza to get free Skittles (Taste the Rainbow) and condoms from our campus queer organisations. Make sure to get a picture of you and your sweetie, or you and your friends, or you and your prospective future whatever, under their rainbow of balloons.

Word has it that the university administration has already mishandled this event. Though QuAM is sponsored by the Office of Multicultural Affairs, it seems nobody ever told security and groundskeeping, and also, strangely, the Department of Art History. This morning, as the Queer Alliance folks floated their rainbow and anchored it, they were accosted by an angry official who first demanded an explanation, and then began screaming for "Papers, acht, you need papers! We cannot proceed without papers!" Something like that.

He and his pals gave up after he was asked whether he had "anything better to do than hassle some homos." Various bystanders mocked him as he left, sheepish. But within minutes, as an intrepid flag-waver was preparing to affix the rainbow standard to Alma's scepter, a cold-bosomed curatress from Art History reprimanded him, declaring that no flag other than the black drape of National AIDS Day was to be affixed to Alma's person. The standard was not raised.