One professor is miraculously able to be an academic, administrator and mother - without a Time Turner.

Another professor, after being educated around the world, pushes the limits of the normative, breaks ground on the topic of globalization, and successfully uses buzzwords while talking to the press.

Men's soccer pushes the limits of the acceptable win percentage in a Columbia athletic program that does not involve sabers.

Columbia extending the football season might just be adding to the loss column, but at least we'd make some bucks!

Columbia's still pushing their northern limits. And some people are (still) not too excited about the idea.

Alan Brinkley is the most popular Columbia professor on Facebook.

Columbia is trying to "ameliorate" tensions with the community.

Columbia gets amazing athletic recruits, who eat McDonald's every day, wear jeans so tight that their legs atrophy and smoke clove cigarettes.

Statisticians: Here are all the sexy details about the rigorous lottery.

Pity the first-year who did not witness the hunger strike and thus cannot fully understand the ramifications of the Global Core.

Embracing all things collegiate, Bwog joined the class of 2012 last night in Roone Arledge Auditorium for Class Act: Advance Screening.

Day One of NSOP challenged the wily troop of 12s with long lines, dorm room design, and familial farewells followed by awkward introductions and icebreakers. But no odyssey draws to a close without its due reward. To initiate the 12s into dear alma mater, NSOP offered up an Class Act, an evening of campus tips and trivia and brazen leonine spirit.

As is tradition with all Columbia events, Class Act began a full half hour late. OLs and their charges kept busy with the multiple-choice quizlets projected on a screen at the front of the auditorium. Although this competitive and cognitive exercise quickly won the crowd's attention, the first skit, featuring a cell phone toting personification of the Alma Mater statue, dragged on with repetitive, but well-received, nods to the new class.

Inexplicably, the Lions appear to be involved in a joint venture with Tic Tac at tonight's game (they don't say the sport in the hilarious press release, but Bwog will suppose it's basketball). Coming soon: corporate naming rights for Baker Field? "Swish Undergraduate Athletics Center" has a nice ring to it.

Long story made short: apparently you can win ten grand by dancing around with Tic Tac containers. On a Friday night. If you start binge-drinking right now, you might shed enough dignity to try to participate in -- we swear to God -- "one of Morningside Heights' more 'earth shaking' pop culture iconic moments." If you show up, they'll throw two or three more adjectives in that sentence. Just for you!

More in food news: Chipotle is arriving at the end of the month, and they're courting Columbia students in a big way. The new shop's advance team let Bwog know that on Wednesday, June 27, they're holding a kickoff event to raise money for Columbia athletics--from 11:00 AM to 8:00 PM, five bucks will get you a hefty burrito and a drink, and all the money goes to CU teams. We'll remind you as the time approaches.

If food's one way to our heart, and money's another, flashy websites are a third (we squandered a good half hour on this one--check out the dog section) and ethical food raising a fourth. The press release heavily promoted their naturally raised meats and organic beans, which should make your chunky hunk of Mexican taste even better. So, go forth and gorge, summer Columbians. And go Lions.

The love affair comes to an end...

This is actually a big deal

Money!

In Soviet Russia, Russia's Future dissects YOU!

Bill Pennington, author of an article in today's Times, meditates on what many-an-Ivy Leaguer has meditated: just what is the purpose of pursuing a successful football program at a school known for its academic caliber? Are the two ends of academic excellence and athletic triumph mutually exclusive?

(Perhaps: he notes that Duke, Northwestern, and Stanford, top schools with strong football programs, all have pretty shitty records)

The Columbia squad might be proud.

Every semester, President Bollinger brings about 40 students off the street into his swanky abode at 60 Morningside Drive to find out what's going on in the collective student consciousness. Registration is competitive, and as Bwog mounted the cushy staircase to PrezBo's elegantly appointed receiving room, we realized why: the snacks are phenomenal. During a 20 minute schmooze session, the undergrads fed on miniature hamburgers and peeled asparagus served up by a flock of smiling attendants. Here are some highlights from the discussion:

- The Opener: PrezBo began with his standard global university patter, covering the by now familiar tropes of how we need more international students, how much we NEED more space, and how committed we are to educational opportunity.

- On African Studies: Bollinger pinned the blame for the department's termination on erstwhile SIPA Dean Lisa Anderson, but said that we should be expecting a "major announcement" regarding the leader of a new department.

- On Athletics: "I really care a lot about athletics. One of the things I'm been troubled by is the sense that Columbia athletics has not been sufficiently respected or that it's losing." Just focus on water polo!

- On the distinctiveness of a Columbia alum: "You're more in debt than the others." Uneasy laughter. "That was a joke."

- On the works of Shakespeare: "You actively read them every day. You build a life with them...he had the ability to create characters who are truly, truly real. To do that is an act of genius."

- On the potential departure of Dean Galil: "Besides being extraordinary, he's lovable. I would wish him the best, and would work with him as the president of an institution. I think it would be good for the world."

- On the disinvitation of President Ahmadinejad: Bollinger abandoned the pretense that the Iranian leader was asked not to speak because of "security concerns." New version of events: he was informed on a Wednesday morning that Dean Anderson had invited Ahmadinejad while working in a small group setting at the UN to speak Friday morning. The President's office couldn't get a line of communication that would have assured him that Ahmadinejad would consent to a question and answer period, which Bollinger said was essential for this event to have academic merit. Especially considering Ahmadinejad had, one night earlier, implied that the Holocaust did not occur. "Are you unfathomably ignorant, or are you brazenly insulting?" PrezBo asked rhetorically.