Maybe you made some new friends at your internship or job over the summer, how nice for you. Professor to the Stars Jeffrey Sachs has made some new best friends and oh, they are awesome. Here's our Jeff Sachs (right) with famous people John Mayer (he of smoldering stare on the left), and Jennifer Aniston (center), hanging out and probably talking about sustainable development and Brad Pitt and the like. Scholarly journal Us Weekly reports that the photo was taken at dinner for Sachs' Millennium Promise project.

Oh, and just for good measure there's a photo thrown in of Sachs with old friend Angelina Jolie, who is neither famous nor good-looking enough to merit a larger photo.

Everyone's favorite Morningside newspaper is taking a midterms hiatus, so no QuickSpec today. There will, however, be Ask Bwog. Bwog will be taking on questions about anything—Columbia-related or not. For instance, "Why does Lerner 4 smell like vomit?" or, "Why does the M104 smell like vomit?" both make excellent queries. Send questions to bwog@columbia.edu and they'll be posted and answered the following Tuesday. Today's question comes from Paul Barndt, a senior and Blue and White editor who wants to know:

How can I become a celebrity personal assistant?

The obvious starting point would seem to be doing a stint as a non-celebrity personal assistant. As lame as that may sound, it's probably correct. A friend of Bwog recently made an off-hand comment in one of Bwog's seminars that he was looking for a job. The professor happened to be looking for an assistant and— voila!— a personal assistant was born.

When celebrities are in need of assistants, chances are they're not going to advertise on Craigslist. What's more likely is that they will advertise via word of mouth. The most likely scenario is that there will be a lengthy interview process in which the applicant will be screened by several managers, lawyers and agents before actually being interview by the celebrity in question.

To ace these interviews, an applicant must have a squeaky-clean background and probably must have some experience as an assistant, nanny or babysitter. The applicant should be extremely organized and at least have a semblance of competence. Finally, if all goes well, the prospective assistant will have a casual meet and greet with the celebrity. If sparks fly, chances are that the celebrity is looking to hire someone as quickly as possible.

After finding out about Elton John's shindig at the little old cathedral down the way, Bwog donned our best wannabe-paparazzi gear (i.e., a dinky digital camera) and headed over at eight o'clock for a glance at the spectacle. A quick peek turned into nearly an hour of celebrity-sighting bliss as we joined the groundlings swarming to ogle icons of culture meandering up the church steps, accompanied by starshowers of camera flashes. We saw lots of skin, lots of 7-inch heels (what a trend!), and lots of pissed-off security guards. Celebs included Richard Gere and Calista, Liv Tyler, Kid Rock, Robin Williams, the Scissor Sisters, the Osbourne parents, Elizabeth Hurley, Yoko Ono, and... Fran Drescher's boob.

We couldn't really see much of the action, but the celebs aren't the point--it's the spectacle that follows them. Morningside Heighters don't get much excitement in their lives, and Elton injected it with a healthy dose of starpower last night. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" gasped one man to his female companion, grabbing her by the waist. The groundlings cried out, "You're beautiful!" and cheered for the cooks and servers when they hurried through the door. Across the street, Bwog helpfully informed passersby of what the hell was going on at their church, and mentally noted their responses.

Page Six is reporting that Elton John will be celebrating his 60th birthday party this evening with cocktails, dinner, and dancing just down the street at the cathedral of St. John the Divine. The guest list of 300 will probably include more star power than Columbia's seen since the Dalai Lama.

Awesome. But does anyone else find this a little...arrogant? I mean, who has their birthday in a house of worship? Especially someone who wants to "ban religion completely"?

Jesus.

It's Matthew Fox, of Lost fame. We hope this is a joke. (Though some of you commenters in the other thread seemed prescient...)

A genuine teevee celebrity! Chris Szabla reports:

"The general mood among seniors: either appalled, or wondering if Quigley and Chait were playing an extended joke. Even the video montage of headshots from the likes of Party of Five failed to quell rumors this was some kind of gag."

UPDATE 7:00PM: Spec has a full story up and running, complete with delicious reactions.

While BW toils upstairs in Lerner, the staff of Spectator is taking their own turn at the West End, following their annual Blue Pencil Dinner and Lecture. After the elegantly attired ladies and gentlemen of the 130th and 131st managing boards filed out from behind Low Rotunda's back curtain (having been feted on the company dime with high rolling alumni), the current Spectator pantheon arrayed itself on the dais behind retired Editor in Chief Steve Moncada, who gave a brief State of Spectator address.

Just so you know, the State of Spectator is great. The paper has turned a profit for the first time since going broadsheet, remained the "most popular extracurricular activity at Columbia," and started a "huge success" of a weekly magazine. Lehman-bound Moncada encouraged the new guard to aggressively develop web content, which may involve "freeing ourselves from the handcuffs of Viacom's CollegePublisher." Yes! Fight the man!

This year's speaker has also been hugely successful with her weekly magazine. Janice Min, Journalism '90, is the youthful Editor-in-Chief of US Weekly, where she's presided over a 2/3 jump in subscription numbers and some of the best Britney coverage in the nation (Min mentioned Spears at least 6 times in her 30-minute speech).

"Some of you may not approve of my particular corner of journalism," Min started out, before embarking on an eloquent defense of celebrity gossip rags. While acknowledging the argument that her media genre may have contributed to the dumbing down of society, she pointed out that much of educated America spends more time decrying the tabloidization of the country than "the actions of a reckless administration." Paris Hilton didn't start any wars, you know.

Besides, it's business, Min said. Entertainment in America is a $29 billion industry, and it makes sense to cover the titans in Hollywood as rigorously as we cover steroid scandals in sports or campaign finance reform.

"There does not seem to be a limit to what certain celebrities will do, and what the public—all of you in here included—will watch," Min said. Even if it ends up in the National Enquirer.

The Rockefeller Center tree lighting, from Bryan Mochizuki to your computer.

7:58 PM: Two minutes 'til showtime. Apparently New York markets were treated to an extra hour prior to the national broadcast. Taylor Hicks fans, start kicking yourself now - he just performed his first song. Two preshow thoughts:

Will anyone sing a holiday protest song? Sarah McLachlan covered Lennon's "Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)" on her new Christmas album and she's due to perform tonight. There's a few other wild-cards on the set-list - Sting, Legend - who could turn something out. I don't think NBC has the balls to let "Happy X-Mas" hit the air, but we'll see. I'm guessing they'll go the more traditional route - "Silent Night" with some vague political banter before. Wimps.

Also, who will sing "Santa Baby"? Aguilera was born to do it, but Bette Midler was too (and a good 30 years before). Either way, it's gotta happen.

8:05 PM: Surprise! 30 Rock intro! Who woulda thought... Tracy Morgan's in
it, reprising his role from the last episode...prior to this they announced that some portions were pre-recorded. Considering the state of affairs in the Morgan, um, liver, this was probably one of them...

8:06 PM: America's greatest karaoke singer is doing "White Christmas." Uh oh. He's jazzing it up now. I'm not a huge fan of Hicks, but I do like the fact that the American Idol winner is finally someone who looks like they actually hang out in karaoke bars. He seems the sort to make twice the required amount of cupcakes for the office potluck. Every time.

After Prof. Janaki Bakhle opened her morning class surprised that anyone bothered to show up with "Denzel and Russell Crowe [pictured at right on another set for the same movie] filming at 116th and Riverside," where she was excited that she "saw limos," Bwog could not resist checking out the scene west of campus, where yet another crew was turning our neighborhood into a stage set, this time for the remake of American Gangster. Vintage 70s cars, buses, and police cruisers vied with extras in period dress all along Claremont and Riverside, but, despite the curious absence of security (or perhaps because of it), the two celebs were nowhere to be seen.

What brought the film here? IMDB summarizes the film's provocative plot: "A drug lord smuggles heroin into Harlem during the 1970s by hiding the stash inside the coffins of American soldiers returning from Vietnam." We can't wait.

Meanwhile, a tipster reports seeing "Alec Baldwin was at the Literature and Citizenship event with Orhan Pamuk," which was "part of the Havel series. Baldwin and his female companion were ushered out a back exit after the event ended." Does anyone have further info? Confirmations of these celebs' whereabouts?

-CJS

You've heard about CULPA. It's been recommended by most of the many people who give you advice. But like Wikipedia, the underground listing has its flaws, and shouldn't be your only source of information. Here's Bwog academic advisor Owain Evans on how to get the most out of CULPA—as a source of entertainment, if nothing else.

Watch your sample size. If a professor has lots of well-written reviews that are all positive or all negative, then you're safe assuming that she's either really good or really bad. However, such unanimity (and consistently well-constructed reviews) is rare. Without it, be wary of drawing strong conclusions.

The Slacker Factor. There are lots of malicious or misinformed reviews on the site, and it's impossible to verify whether a review is accurate or not. Remember, lots of people in your classes don't do the reading and are on the verge of falling asleep half the time. The reviews that such people write are unlikely to be of much use unless you also plan to avoid the reading and somnambulate to class. Also, many reviews are mere expressions of personal animus--even some of the well-written and detailed ones. The 'user feedback' feature can be useful in this regard, provided lots of people have voted on the accuracy of the review.

Ask the experts. Make sure to check reviews of the more advanced classes a professor has taught, even if you're thinking about an intro. Students in low-level classes are often ignorant of the subject being taught, leading to misinformed reviews. For example: "The prof kept going on about 'proofs' the whole time. He didn't give us any calculations to do!" (This is actually what university math is like). Or, "The whole class was just about hair-splitting distinctions and we never got anywhere" (This is actually what philosophy is like). People who do advanced undergrad classes will tend to know the subject well enough to offer a balanced review.

Not to be outdone, Madonna has hopped on the African-orphan-hugging bandwagon with a $3 million donation to J. Sachs' Millennium Voices foundation, which will help villages in the malaria-infested African nation of Malawi. The rocker chalks up her newfound generosity to having had kids of her own, as well as the giving spirit of Jewish mysticism--a new orphan care center will have programs based on Spirituality for Kids, the Kabbalah children's program.

Sachs chides celebrity-shy critics: "Of course there are no doubt people who on a fling say something, but that's not what Madonna's doing, it's not what Angelina's doing, it's not what Bono's doing...the cynics are just wrong. They don't get it."

Bwog cheers! And wants the Olsen twins to be next.