Last night, tipster Ryan Withall recommended checking out 317 Hamilton, where, he wrote, students had gone a bit crazy on the blackboard during what must have been an intense study session.
Curious, Bwog took a break from work and headed over, to find a creepy crop circle of chairs, arranged in the shape of a heart. On the board, someone had scrawled some puzzling aphorisms:

"Taste love right now because forever eats at the Olive Garden"

"Bravery thinks for no one, love the face you share with friends"

"Treat yourself, you never know when the ones you love will move to the center of the solar system"

"The Bouncing Baby drowns my sorrow"

"Safety approaches those who full heartedly bathe in sweet cookie batter, for thine is the Sophomoric help"

Also, Bwog heard that some charitable sophomores were wandering through Butler several hours ago, getting rid of their stash of 500 condoms by strewing them across desks ringed by toiling students, as if to say, study break!

Bwog has no words.

In other potty gossip:

Guy #1 — So, I almost crapped myself during the exam because the professor wouldn't let me leave.

Guy #2 (after pausing pensively) — I think if a professor doesn't let you take a dump during the exam, it should be considered fair game to just drop your pants and lay one right on their desk.

Guy #1 — I totally agree.

Guy #2 — It's like telling them, "Ok, you wouldn't let me handle my problem alone, so now it's your problem."

Thanks to Steven Thomas for easvesdropping in Hamilton elevators.

Two guys walking out of McBain...

Guy 1: So wait bro, what if a girl had a sex change like her second
year at Barnard, would she still be allowed graduate?
Guy 2: Or if a Columbia guy had one and then wanted to transfer to Barnard?

Outside of Tom's. A group of 4 boys...

Boy 1: No, I'LL put the condom on MY head, and YOU'LL take the picture
with your camera-phone.
Boy 2: Fine. We're goin' to Duane Reade.

Heard something absurd? Send it in: bwgossip@columbia.edu