Payscale.com has just released a ranking of the best Ivy League Schools in terms of post-Bachelors salaries. Let's see how Columbia stacked up. Why look, it's last, dead last. Topping the list is Dartmouth (fraternities), followed by Princeton (eating clubs) and Yale (collective ennui?).

As one Bwog staffer points out: "This says a lot more about the profile of students who go to these schools than how much the schools help them.

People like me who aren't going to make a lot of money are gonna drag the average down even though people from Columbia can still make that cash if they go into a profitable field."

See how SEAS and Barnard stack up after the jump.

vs.

Today, New York Magazine's blog the Daily Intelligencer linked to a Dartmouth student blog that calculated the number of drinking infractions per Ivy League college. Fratty and backwoods-y, Dartmouth was naturally crowned champion. Our fair Alma Mater, came in second to last, just narrowly beating out Penn. New York theorizes that this number is exceedingly low given Columbia's environs and population. The theory is demonstrated using the extremely mathematical formula:

Hundreds of Freshman + Dozens of Places to get IDs x Thousands of Delis Where Owners Don't Care If You Are Underage / Limited Entrances And Exits To Dorms That Are Monitored For Safety = Easily Detectable Drunkenness

Given the formula, New York attributes our low frequency of drinking infractions to our lameness.

Bar fight!

Spec is only running Monday and Wednesday on this sunny, gloriously action-packed midterm week. So in the absence of our usual morning recap, we present this motley roundup of completely unrelated miscellany...

• Behold the latest email from the CC '09 class council, proving to seniors, perhaps, that they don't have it so bad. The missive begins by observing "Wollstonecraft is a hotty," and quickly goes downhill. A section titled "Free Food Just Doesn't Get Any Freer" describes the purchase and movement of the Broadway farmer's market a few meters inside, to Lerner. To wit, soon will be your "Last Chance to SEXIFY" the student center. Add an announcement for a campus group J. Sachs project called GROCC, at least three misspellings, four instances of triple exclamation points, and three announcements copied and pasted from other emails. Coda? "BEST OF LUCK ON THE MIDDIES". Beware, sophomores - it's never too early to start worrying about Class Day.

• You've probably only visited if you've taken the English department's seminar on children's literature, or if you're a GS student with a full house. The rest of us, apparently, are missing out: Bank Street Bookstore was recently named by New York magazine as the best indie book vendor (well, for kids) in town. Come to think of it, where else would you find a place featuring picture books in Urdu, Vietnamese, and Bengali - not to mention an edition of "Winnie the Pooh"...in Latin?

• Material on college sex finally running thin, the Daily News calls out Columbia students for throwing "narcissistic" parties. Which deadly sin will the tabloids tackle next week?

• Meanwhile, Dartmouth students discover a new way to be bored...as if they needed it?

-CJS

Bwog football correspondent CML recounts the Lions' loss to Dartmouth.

The defining question for this Saturday's contest between Columbia and Dartmouth wasn't who was in the gutter -- both teams were tied for last place in the Ivy League at 0-2 -- but who was looking at the stars. When the pigskin first left the foot of the Big Green's kicker and arced through the brisk October air, it became obvious that it was the Lions. The skyward-gazing kickoff returner was wrenched back to painful reality as the ball glanced off his unsuspecting body, and though Columbia retained possession, the infamous offense fumbled on the first play of the drive, this time relinquishing control deep in its own territory (and establishing a record for the ratio of fumbles to plays). Dartmouth, whose focus was evidently more terrestrial, nimbly picked the Lions' defense apart with adroitness, perhaps uncharacteristic of perpetual inebriates to notch a touchdown and field goal in quick succession. The offense puttered around the line of scrimmage myopically, the Big Green scored another touchdown to extend its lead to 17, and the Lions found themselves thrown from the gutter into a spiraling abyss of futility.