Bwog is in slow motion this week due to Thanksgiving.

In which Bwog staffer Hillary B. unearths a trove of desperate preteen pleas.

hgjThe other day, one of my fellow interns at the marketing/publicity firm where I work turned to me and asked, "Do you know what happened to all the Good Charlotte fan mail?" That band once had been among our clients, and we've been receiving their mail for over a year.

"I don't know... I think Autumn threw it all out," I said. This was true — a few weeks ago, we had cleaned out the mailroom and the entire bag of fan mail had been unceremoniously dumped in the trash. What I didn't tell my colleague was that I had later smuggled the bag into my backpack and brought it home with me.

As much fun as I had tampering with the mail — hey, it's not like that's a felony or anything, right? Right? — I'd have to say that on the whole, this was a learning experience for me. I now consider myself an expert on Good Charlotte fan mail composition. Read on to find out how you, too, can write a letter that'll bring Benji and Joel Madden to their knees.

Step 1: Be a 15-Year-Old Girl

The vast majority of Good Charlotte fans are young ladies just shy of the tween years. Out of 30some letters, a grand total of one was written by a boy — and nobody admitted to being older than a sophomore in high school. Then again, there are exceptions to this rule, as proven by this amazing letter from Katie in Ohio:

"Dear Good Charlotte, I Love You Joel Madden! You are the only one I think is Hot! Will you marry me? I like SpongeBob. How old are you? I am 9 years old. You are my favorite rock band. Your Girlfriend, Katie. P.S. Write me back BABY!"


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