A School of the Arts third year writing student named David Harrington is receiving some attention today from the New York Daily News in response to his famous internet invention, the Sarah Palin Baby-Name Generator. The Daily News loved their new Palin names so much that certain reporters even used them as bylines.

Bwog played around with this thing by entering in several of Columbia's most recognizable names. Here's what happened:

• Lee Bollinger: Shaver Razorback Palin
• Bruce Robbins: Steak Leather Palin
• James Franco: Moose Roadster Palin
• Roaree Lion: Snooker Hinge Palin
• Austin Quigley: Recoil Mush Palin
• Gayatri Spivak: Plop Hero Palin
  

Plus, it's not just random: entering in the same name twice will result in the same Palin name both times. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Bwog's actually quite partial to our Palin name: Ladel Torque Palin.

It's not Prangstgrup, but it'll do. Watch those chem grad students run!

Julia Kite emails us with the following tip:

"The Journalism School's graduation speaker will be Ben Bradlee...yes, THE Ben Bradlee who was editor of the Washington Post during the Watergate Scandal and one of three people who knew the identity of Deep Throat, à la All the President's Men."

According to a recent Gawker post, J-School Dean of Students Sree Sreenivasan e-mailed students with the news yesterday (in which he, interestingly enough, sourced Wikipedia for Bradlee's bio -- hey, even professional journalists refer to it every now and then).

For those still upset about their own Class Day speakers, know that there may still be hope for graduate school.

- MIP

Classes have begun, and you're eager to know what your instructors have in store beyond that cute introductory slide lecture. CULPA expert Owain Evans is here to help, writing Bwog to point out what he thought was a suspicious evaluation. "Was this review written by the grad student himself?" he wonders. Bwog can't say, but this excerpt was at least somewhat of an outlier among reviews that were vaguely positive but tended to include such tips as "if you put time into this class you can do well but expect to fail the midterms" and "he thinks it is amusing when the majority of the class fails an exam".

John Baldwin
Mathematics
displaying all reviews (5) | search directory of classes | review prof

Calculus I
27 December 2006

John is a young research mathematician who can check caller ID while
summing Reimann subintervals. His star quality arouses nubile
tittering in the first few rows, then narrowly offset with strategic
downplay. John plants errors in his boardwork to weed out the
booksmarts, so if you're thinking of getting some in-class doodling
done, think again! Test questions are mildly sadistic, though John
will provide ample crawl opps for those who care enough to botch the
exams. Moreover, since John's not a generalist, he won't offer answers
to questions you can figure on your own. But if you have inquiries
which demonstrate genuine intellectual curiosity, John will be
generous with his time and brain power- count on that! Office hours
are busy and often run seminar style, so get in on it early or you
just might miss him.

Workload: Don't think you're off the hook as far as homework goes!
Easier problems are culled from the actual assignments, which do have
collaborative appeal...so split up the sets in your study group and
share the answers! Unless you're feeling rigorous, well, then there's
just no getting around hard work.

Oh those chemists! Oh those grad students who aspire to be chemists!

Stephanie Quan writes in with an account of the chem department's winter show, a Varsity Show-type extravaganza featuring off-key musical tributes to favorite professors sung by second-year grad students with department secretaries on keyboard.

But in the esteemed words of R. Kelly, "after the party show, it's the after party." Stephanie says the fun really started with five hours of chemically induced revelry in the lounge. The ethanol flowed from twelve standard kegs and a massive punch dispenser, photographed here next to Stephanie's friend Terrence.

Just remember guys, "don't drink and derive."

In which Bwog Staffer Brendan Ballou tries desperately to find something to talk about with Kira Kalina von Ostenfeld -- a German countess who graduated from Georgetown at age 19 to work for the FBI, grew up in Peru, learned six languages, and started her own art company. She's also a fifth-year grad student in the history department focusing on middle-ages Spain.

Why are grad students sad?

It's part of the culture of graduate school. And this is something that's happened for a very, very long time — it's nothing new. It's part of the intensity of the intellectual process we go through — it's suffering. We're supposed to be doing this for some higher call and we will enlighten the world. I mean we have a pretty sweet deal — the lucky ones of us get paid to be here. I think you're being unrealistic if you come to graduate school and think it's going to be cushy. It's difficult, so the lucky few of us who are allowed to be part of this should appreciate it for what it's for.

So you went to college at 16

Yeah.

So how did that happen?

Well, my parents are a little bit older, so when I came along my mother had already had kids, and so she considered me a little adult. I don't think it was a negative thing at all — I very much appreciated it actually. I was never treated as a child — I was always treated as an adult and pushed accordingly when it came to academics. And so my parents were very lenient in terms of everything else that they did, so their one requirement was that, 'if get A's and keep A's in everything you do you have free rein — you can go out with your friends, you can party, you can go to concerts, whatever, you can have a boyfriend.'

And so you had a social life in high school?