For a three-day week, it sure felt a lot longer. Maybe it was the newness, maybe it was the heat (or Hanna). Either way, let's relive this auspicious beginning to the semester.
Your professors began class in off-putting and amusing ways
A mysterious antagonist offended one violent feminist in EC
We discovered our beloved bird of prey was a plural
To little fanfare, tacos were substituted for stir-fry in Ferris Booth
It was announced Obama and McCain would soon descend upon Roone
At which point, every single person in the world immediately tried to secure tickets. These attempts were rebuffed by fickle and cruel technology.

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Political clubs pay attention to politics!
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We received only a few responses to the
Our Hero's glorious namer is LOST!
Last week's haiku contest proved
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