This weekend, America is turning 232, making it just slightly older than the Columbia College website. Traditionally, Americans celebrate their country's birthday by cooking meat on grills outdoors and then watching fireworks. For this week's Guide to the Weekend, we've consolidated a few events that will give you the opportunity to do just that.

Macy's Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular; 9PM
Prime Viewing Spots: Manhattan: East River Park, South Street Seaport, FDR Drive between 14th and 42nd Streets; Brooklyn: Greenpoint, Empire Fulton Derry State Park (in DUMBO), Brooklyn Heights Promenade

Brooklyn Independence Day Parade; Between 66th and 86th Streets on 13th Ave in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn
Head to 66th Street in Dyker Height's for the 103rd Annual Independence Day Parade! Who knew Brooklyn had a 66th Street? Featuring classic parade staples like floats and veteran marching bands.

After Saturday's Flag Day and Sunday's Father's Day, our glorious three-day holiday trifecta continues as Bwog would like to take the opportunity to wish everyone a very merry Bloomsday, a special day reserved for celebrating the events of a book we most likely have not read.

Every year, on June 16th, bibliophiles commemorate James Joyce's Ulysses, which follows protagonist Leopold Bloom as he wanders around Dublin on that same date in 1904.

Local James Joyce retailer Book Culture features nothing on its calendar indicating any Bloomsday reading, but Symphony Space, on Broadway and 95th, will be holding a performance of the Ithaca Episode and Molly Bloom's soliloquy tonight at 7 PM. Also starting at that same time and going until 4 AM, 99.5 WBAI will be broadcasting its annual Radio Bloomsday, which features readings from Ulysses and Joyce's other works, and stars apparent Joyceans Alec Baldwin and Anne Meara, among others.

If you know of any other Joyce-centric activities, use the comment thread and we'll update the post.

Bwog editor Mariela Quintana tells you about a holiday you might have missed.

There's been a lot of talk about April being the cruelest month. But what's everyone got against poor old April? Just look at the facts, April's got the best holidays — April Fool's, Earth Day, often Easter, occasionally Passover, always 4/20, and Al Green's birthday's on the 13^th. But April 17^th celebrates the loveliest day of all, Poem in Your Pocket Day.

In honor of National Poetry Month (April), PIYP encourages you, dear Bwog reader, to print out a poem that you enjoy or perhaps that you have even written. As you carry it in your pocket, read your poem to as many or as few people as you so wish — don't be shy, let the inner poet come out!

The holiday is meant to honor not just Erato — our divine Muse of the Lyric Line — but also to promote poetry, literacy an the arts. Today's celebration will culminate with an open mic reading in Byrant Park. And there's even a website, so it's legit!

After the jump, Bwog offers some pocket-friendly poems.

Tipster Alex Port says...

"Walked into uris to find two tables lined with hundreds of free jelly donuts in honor of the festival of lights. As revenge for not being able to swipe DD$ at uris, we should eat all their donuts, get the word out."

Word has it that CCSC reps are also outside of Lerner with candy canes bribing passersby to show up to tonight's trees lighting. Go get 'em!

"Columbus was a criminal," bellowed Hakim from the Low Steps mere moments ago. Disagree!, reply the College Republicans, who are grilling burgers and hot dogs for their fellow Columbus Day celebrants. Yet CUGOP president Chris Kulawik, C '08 emphasized that they are not "celebrating" Columbus per se: "we're just recognizing it's a national holiday" he said, adding that the cookout is a long-standing CUGOP custom. He then went into an etymological explication of the day's significance: "Christopher Columbus. Columbia."

Of course, Kulawik doesn't seem to mind pissing people off--he's the one behind Fox flamethrower Sean Hannity's visit in a couple weeks. Maybe it was a trade for the number of times Kulawik has been a guest on their turf?

Later, a GOPer was overheard sending one of her ideological kinsmen to fetch veggie burgers at Morton Williams. When asked if vegetarianism conflicts with the GOPs presumed goal of laying the environment to waste, a first-year jokingly assured Bwog that the two are not irreconcilable.

-ARR

Various anti-colonial interests are currently gathered on Low Plaza in celebration of Decolonization Day, an anti-Colonial rejoinder to this most colonial of federal holidays. And if you think that sentence was redundant, today's event brings back that most recurring (and most annoying) of Columbianisms: poor planning! Come 1 PM, the decolonizers will have to share space with the Senior Class Council, which is giving you the opportunity to chuck pies at prominent soon-to-be graduates. "It is messed up," one SPEAK representative said of the scheduling mess-up--although as a table of Ba'hai students pointed out, Decolonization Day is all about co-existence. When Bwog asked why they thought it important to participate in today's events (which include a performance by rapper Hakim, from Channel Five), Makini Boothe, BC '08 replied that her faith believes in the oneness of everyone, and a "total transformation of human interaction."

So, to recap: pies, pie-related public humiliation, free food, critiques of Columbus Day and the western colonial attitudes it represents, rap music and spiritual harmony! Right now at Low! And the weather is still pleasantly (or disconcertingly) spring-like...

-ARR

Bwog is signing off for awhile to stuff our faces with sweetmeats and to relax Frankie Goes to Hollywood-style. But before we do, we asked several campus figures to tell us what they want for Chrismakwanzikkah or the other non-denominational winter holiday they celebrate. We got a few responses, starting with Sumaiya Ahmed's interview with...

Antonio, a security guard at McBain who says he wants a silver watch, a tuxedo, and the other half of his orange.

"You know what I mean don't you?"

"Umm, you mean your wife?"

"Yes," he says. "Well, a girlfriend, my ex-wife...."

Tao Tan: "Either the repeal of the capital gains tax, or the Battlestar Pegasus (with 4 squadrons of Mark VII Vipers)."

Professor Carl Hart: "Hmmm, let's see...For Christmas, I'd like justice for those with limited resources. I hope this answers the question."

Tim, the bearded violin player outside Lerner says, "I would like that the world be more like the people in New York, how they have been to me, taking care of each other. It is astounding. It is not like that everywhere, you know."

He is from Wisconsin, though he says the people there are nice too.

"I have hope for us," he says. "I think we'll figure it out. You young folks, you're pretty bright. Pretty and bright! Though of course, I don't wanna make any big generalizations."

As promised, we've reviewed those silly holiday sandwiches for the benefit of the consumer- you! Correspondent Dena Yago offers the following appraisal.

Religious culinary politics, a pre-eminent topic this time of year, has revealed itself not so subtly on behalf of the $5.50 Holiday Sandwiches sold around campus. My experience with these creations left me unscathed, if eleven dollars poorer in my much-guarded freshman points.

Where to begin? Unaware of the conflict I was about to incite, I simultaneously purchased the Chanukah sandwich, made of corned beef brisket on a potato roll with "Jewish" mustard and pickled cabbage, and the Kwanzaa wrap, made of roasted sweet potatoes with caramelized onions and cranberry chutney. The Christmas sandwich could only be eaten a day later, as Cafe 212 ran out of the hot commodity, and it refused to comment on its — ahem — segregation.

Brokers, landlords unite in subtle White-Wing conspiracy to keep New York segregated

What? Discrimination in the sciences? Damn you Larry Summers! Quick, have lots of girls invade Pupin and blow up gummy bears!

Asian-American fest lots of work, draws "everyone"

Capitalism helps us be able to bear winter, be Christ-like, and remember the expulsion of the "unholy and oppressive Seleucid Greeks"

"I am young, healthy, of average height, blonde, blue-eyed, and free of tattoos, and I have great SAT scores. Who wouldn't want my adorable Ivy League baby?"

"I've been in the shower for an hour, and my tits are still green."

"I still have paint coming out of my ears. I clean out one ear, and it's red. And then I cleaned out the other and it was blue. And then I looked at my Q-tips and I felt like I was in the Matrix."