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CCSC Combats "Study Day"

hmmAre you kept up at night by financial fears? Yes...but PrezBo is always there for me with his consoling words.

Are you proud to be an American now with an Obama Presidency? Yes...but Obama's Presidency could be as disastrous as the Trojan War was for the Greeks! Wait, who won that war? Better check Sparknotes...

Are you scared to go to 1020 with the crime spree in the area? Yes...but now you just drink some delicious yuletide lager in your room for less than half the price.

Are you happy that your alma mater's military veterans marched in a parade? Yes...but making more vets is a terrible idea!


Bwog enlisted freshman correspondent Peter Thompson to report back with all the exciting details of the semester's first Lit Hum class.

Notebooks and laptops in hand, the thousand or so 2012s filed in to Roone Arledge Auditorium this afternoon for their very first Columbia class. Professor Gareth Williams, chair of Lit Hum, started speaking at 12:35 PM, but it took almost a full minute for the 12s to quiet down.

Williams began by talking about how wonderful the Core, and specifically Lit Hum, is. Then he spent several eloquent minutes waxing poetic about the marvels of the Iliad, calling it a "human document" and saying it exists in a "timeless vacuum." He also declared it a "miracle of advanced technology." Just like an iPod.

The highlight of his lecture came when he asked the members of the audience whether they were on Agamemnon's or Achilles' side. The first girl who ventured to the mike was wearing a pink bandana, and at first had trouble getting the mike to work, but she told everyone not to worry, she could project.


So have you finished those first six books yet? No? Bwog's resident epic poetess Anna Corke gives you the quick and dirty version. Now don't say we never gave you anything.

Book I: In Which Our Hero Loses His Woman, Cries to Mommy, Rages.

Book II: In Which Zeus Lies; Agamemnon Tries to Chicken Out of the War; Odysseus Changes His Mind, Beats Up An Ugly Guy; And Our Narrator Gives Us The Catalogue of Ships.
achilles
Book III: In Which Helen Calls Herself A Slut, Menelaos & Paris Fight Over Her, Aphrodite Whisks a Wimpy Paris Away from Battle to a Billowing Bedchamber, Helen Tells Paris She Wishes He Had Died, And They Sleep Together.

Book IV: In Which Hera and Zeus Fight Again; Zeus Describes Hera's Hatred As A Thirst For Raw Human Flesh, and Lattimore Uses the Word Niggling.

Book V: In Which Diomedes Kills Several, Wounds Goddess, Wounds God.

Book VI: In Which Glaukos & Diomedes Are Evenly Matched, Trade Armor; Women of Troy Pray for Peace, Are Ignored; Hector Makes His Son Cry, Laughs.


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