Gore!

Grass!

Sorority girls!

Tap it!

Once again, Columbia monolith vs. Manhattanville individuals: this time, in photos

Eye E-I-C overtaken by hostile mononucleosis culture

Hungry Jewish students float in an ocean of improperly slaughtered meats

At the confluence of storytelling, Africa, rap, and outrage, there lies spoken word

No conflict here: bhangra seduces us all

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Now what, pray tell, is a "confetti canon"?

Sweet Valley High exegesis

Campus-themed haiku: Bwog rip off?

You know, provocateurs who insist that "gore-porn" is art aren't really that provocative anymore.

Overdosing on analysis, not drugs: yes, that's what Columbia and Harvard bands do.

Under the sterling aegis of Jeffrey Sachs, we can make this the bestest world ever!!

A letter from the editor about the poorest, richest girls

The meta-est Eyepoke ever, in which a campus blog links to a campus magazine article about a campus magazine

The best-written review of the worst book ever

The tastiest-sounding review of the tastiest meal ever

Most avant-garde Eyepoke ever

Dressing up to spend the night in your dorm

Decomposing garbage in your dorm

"Sailor-esque colors"

Feminists breaking the glass ceiling of hipness

And one unequivocally good trend: Judd Apatow stoner comedies. But before that, 6 paragraphs about relationship dramas.

Manatees as the key to ethical (and adorable) expansion? Brilliant!

Silver Sushi? Awesome!

Roscoe Jenkins and Britney's vagina are easily confused

I thought I was in a cellar in Paris, but really it was just a basement room in a church.

Hey, look, it's an article! No, wait—it's just a list of New Jersey stereotypes.

Two years of assiduous editing and all we've got is a "kind of incomprehensible" "faltering effort"? We've made a huge mistake.

Money + Money + Money + NYU = Culture ?

New Museum + School - Pedagogical Method = Art ?

Teenagers + Live Music = Club Revenue - Bar Tabs = Out of Business

Misery + Exhaustion = A Great Way to Live ?

Bacteria + Yeast + "A Few Days of Growth" + "Loving Care from its Health-Conscious Parents" = Something Edible ?

Barnard--always two steps ahead of the curve.

A choir of ten girls would pique most man's interest.

This week in absurdity, The Eye recommends you drop $259 on a humidifier.

When so-called (recent) indie films range from Napoleon Dynamite to Brick, the term "indie-itis" is devoid of any meaning.

The new New Museum.

Gartenfeld- editor, IP tracker, headhunter.

The eternal dilemma for Barnard students. No not, tampons vs. pads. Carrie Bradshaw vs. Judith Butler.

Rhodes Scholars- they're really really modest.

I hear pitchfork gave Wolf Shirt Lesbians a 8.7.

It's okay if you never leave campus, the rest of New York isn't much compared to Morningside Heights

Art for Alzheimer's!

"It's fashion, but not with a capital F."

See, progress can be made without stooping to hunger-strikes.

Even beatniks get old.

McSweeney's did this better.

Let's squeeze another piece out of Ahmadinejad.

So this is an artsy movie with no plot? Sounds super!

Let's make fashion!!

Well, to be fair, no one really wants to pay for Moby's music.

In other news, Columbia ties up some loose ends...

Suspect in the Journalism School rape case is deemed sane enough stand trial.

Better late than never, right?

And opens up another Pandora's Box.

Fight in the psych ward!

So females date TAs, because they want to be dominated, but males date TAs for better grades?

Oh! Girls like to be treated like crap! It all makes sense now.

Car commercials probably killed the indie cred first.

But will James Schamus read your scripts?

What happens after graduation? Stealing toilet paper.

Spice up your life!

Creative writing majors aren't useless! Entry-level positions at publishing companies are great!

New York Film Festival = Fashion week = Ahmadinejad forum

Columbia students doth protest too much.

Who cares about his policies? Ahmadinejad is like sooooo cute!

Spectator's site is down, per usual, must be all that high traffic.

Grrl Power! (Mean Zine Fighting Machine p. 12)

Did The Eye forget to print a page? (After the Lights Go Out p. 7)

The Nanny Diaries was already published and made into a movie. (Babysitters' Club p. 5)

Indie music blogs?! What an idea! (Blogs' Top Dogs p. 13)

Maybe men are just funnier? (The Incredible Shrinking Violets p. 14)

Love the fashion, hate the week.

For people who are interested in Harry Potter's sex life.

Keys open doors.

How does Mark Lilla have no reviews on culpa?

So is it organic or not?