'Tis the season to be jolly, and what makes people jollier than politics? The Democrats and Republicans are getting their fix these next few days before finals set in.

Tonight, the Democrats are running a Maucus, a mock version of the Iowa caucus. Centuries ago, Roman emperor and CC author Maucus Aurelius was named one of the "Five Good Emperors" by fellow CC author Nikolai Machiavelli. Tonight, the Dems will choose their candidate to be the next U.S. president. They will also serve dinner. This will all go down at The James Room in Barnard Hall.

Tomorrow, however, the Democrats will not be giving things away, but instead will be on College Walk soliciting signatures for a petition. The goal is to repeal a bill passed earlier this year that has resulted in rising birth control rates. In order to illustrate what they need to control, the Dems will be scaring passersby with a "huge baby doll."

And what better way to wake up Friday morning than "breakfast with John Bolton"? At 10:00 am, the recent US Ambassador to the UN will be in Lerner 555. Bolton will be giving a talk and signing his book, Surrender is Not an Option. It's 34% off on Amazon, and could make a great Christmas present.

When a Minuteman speech was interrupted by a fire bell at Georgetown, it turned out to be a literal false alarm. Not so at Michigan State Law School recently, where Tom Tancredo, a Republican Congressman from Colorado who has become a sort of anti-illegal-immigration lightning rod, was forced to stop speaking when student activists twice sounded the alarm and would not stop shouting. According to Tancredo, several of the speech's organizers were subsequently assaulted by protesters. In the ensuing melée, Tancredo wrote to the paper, "one was spit on, one was kicked, and one was punched...Tires were also slashed." The protesters seem unwilling to comment.

The protests came in the wake of a controversy in which Tancredo was dismissed by Jeb Bush as a "nut" for referring to ethnically diverse Miami as a "Third World country." Referring to the Coloradan's plans to run for President in 2008, Joe Garcia, executive VP of the New Democrat Network, said that he was "a big fan of Tom Tancredo. I want to be the first guy to give him a check when he runs for president...Morons like him gave us (Democrats) the House and Senate, and it's going to give us the White House, too."

Bwog is a fan of Tom Tancredo as well; perhaps due to his polarity, and this ensuing incident, Bill O'Reilly will now have another target to assault on when he dwells on American university students' fascistic liberal anarchy. Michigan State Law School = University of Havana, Northwest?

-CJS

Tel Aviv taps Zvi...

...After mysterious disappearance of CB...

...While Republicans shed party loyalty

Take Back the Night hands out "pens, highlighters, chapstick, lollipops" at 1020, patrons confused

Play includes "chicken farming", "a fringed belt assembled from a shredded copy of the Columbia Daily Spectator", "a Bible-quoting triple-murderer turned pizza boy", "freedom"

Spec serials continue their march toward the inevitable Pulitzer: "You must bless the round before you pound"

Miriam explores, vicariously, the world of the "spank-ee," who offers up "ass and self"

While campus liberals gear up for an appearance by the founder of the anti-immigrant Minutemen, they might want to know what else College Republicans President Chris Kulawik has up his sleeve: family values Senator Rick Santorum, scheduled to visit at the end of October. Sources inside the Student Governing Board say that the Republicans blew their cover by submitting a security request form. Bwog finds the invitation somewhat ironic, considering Kulawik's admission in a recent Spec article that "he worked to bring the men to campus because he said he thinks discussing issues instead of having candidates speak is less divisive during an election year."

Good news for the College Dems, who chose to go to Ohio to help out senatorial candidate Sherrod Brown (father of Liz Brown, C '07) instead of Pennsylvania to campaign against Santorum over election day weekend. Now they can throw spitballs at him without leaving campus!