We received only a few responses to the Missed Connections post, but this didn't sadden us, Columbia. You see, the fewer Missed Connections, the more connected you must be, and we celebrate your happiness in love. But we continue to fight for those still seeking romance, so with that in mind, the following are the responses we did receive. If you think any apply to you, let us know (bwog@columbia.edu), and we'll forward along the email of your would-be paramour.

• you wear cute glasses. i wish i could work up the nerve to actually talk to you in class.

• A couple of months ago on the 1 train you sat down next to me. After a few minutes I looked up from my reading and you asked me if it was Nietzsche, but it was Nora. We chatted for a little while, and from 116th I walked you to the Barnard gate and after a still moment during which anything could have happened, said good bye.

• I was reading Plato on Low steps. You swooped in from the sky and disemboweled a pigeon no more than two meters before my feet.
  
  I knew at once that it was love, but I haven't caught so much as a glimpse of you since. In all my dreams, before my helpless sight, you plunge at that pigeon with all the swiftness and grace of your noble rank.
  
  Please come back to me. I miss you.

After so many hours locked up in Butler, Bwog couldn't help but notice a few smoldering glances flying from person to person across the brutally well-lit study spaces. It got us thinking, and we decided to start a feature that we'd been considering for a long time:

Missed Connections.

Oh, my, yes. While some of you have already moved out of the dorms, there's still a few days left to catch the eye of whoever's been sitting next to you in CC missing your incisive comments about Kant. You can just do it on the Internet.

Here's how it works: add a comment on this post with a description of the object of your desire, and some way to get in touch with you, like an email address. (The comments are hidden.) We'll repost these, without the identifying emails, and gather the replies, then make the appropriate matches. It'll be great. We await your responses with bated breath.

UPDATE: Since time is fleeting, you have one hour (til 1:30 PM today) to post a missed connection. At that point, we'll be posting the comments. It's the last day of school, so like every teen movie tells you, now's the last chance to talk to the girl/boy of your dreams.

For the last minute planner, Bwog correspondent George Olive offers a well-educated selection of options for the elite diner in search of a romantic night out.

Restaurants

Porcăo Churrascaria

Though unconventional, a top churrascaria may be the perfect place to take your lover. At Porcăo and similar establishments, diners pay a fixed price and then sit back as well-dressed waiters canvass the dining room with everything from bacon-wrapped filets to pork sausage to prime rib. The meat at Porcăo is clearly the main attraction, and it delivers. The space itself is wholly recessed—as if you designed a dining room and then pushed all the walls back.

Caralyn Spector writes in that if you email cuarts@columbia.edu by 5PM, you'll get free tickets to the Mozart and Bruckner extravaganza happening tonight at Carnegie Hall. The show starts at 8PM, with a pre-concert lecture starting at 7PM. This is highly recommended for Music Hum students, as well as anyone who's never heard a Bruckner symphony before (they're playing the 5th).

Along with many high hopes freshmen carry to their first weeks of college, one of the most promising seems to be the possibility of a new love life. Nonsense, you say—I was canoodling quite successfully in 5^th grade! This is silly. Freshmen don't know how to do anything, much less mate. Fortunately, Bwog sexpert Andrea Gallardo has collected wisdom from many corners (ie: members of the Blue and White e-mail alias) to breathe hope into this jungle of hormonal dissonance.

Slow down. In this infamously nit-picky city where narcissism thrives, many prefer being single over being caught "settling." One respondent cautions: "You will hate / ignore your orientation friends within a month. Don't lie — you're just using them as seat-fillers at dinner so that you don't have to confront that nagging feeling of isolation. Therefore, it is in your best interest not to tell them any big secrets or to conceive any of their children."

Dump the sweetheart. If we can be sure of anything, it's that retaining a long-distance flame is always more work than it's worth. Lack of times and physical intimacy inhibit including someone far away into your immediate life. Writes one contributor: "It doesn't matter that your significant other at home is markedly more attractive than anyone you've yet seen at Columbia. Dump them."

Flyer found in John Jay and Broadway this evening. We kid you not:

Update: The fridge has an icemaker.

Bwog Correspondent Mark Holden reports:

The Big Kiss II went down last Saturday, this time at the Whitney Museum. Apparently, an art professor thought it would be hilarious if a bunch of college kids started smooching in the middle of his exhibition. Which is exactly what happened.

This Big Kiss didn't achieve the Low Steps version's turnout, attracting only 20 participants. But these were the real deal: no second rate saliva-swapping this time around. As before, a whistle signaled the beginning and end of the Kiss. A sizable crowd of bystanders accumulated as the Kiss progressed, reacting with everything from disgust to benign amusement to fascinated excitement. One kid got really worked up, taking oodles of photos with his camera phone and exclaiming that "his friends would never believe it!" He also seemed rather titillated by the girl-on-girl action.

One older (i.e. late 30s) couple was standing on the bridge when the
kissers skipped up and set to work. Their faces betrayed their amusement, however, and the two even hazarded a few pecks themselves. When the whistle sounded to end the kissing, the couples skipped off the bridge to amusement and scattered applause from the onlookers.

Anna Corke reports on today's Low Steps face sucking.



Despite rainy weather, about 30-40 people showed up for The Big Kiss. The event was well-documented: two participants brought personal cameras, 3 campus news groups showed up (CTV, Bwog, Spec). One boy told me that he was planning to "make out with his camera."

First the group gathered around the statue of Pan on the lawn in front of Lewisohn. Conversation ranged from hangovers to class schedules to Shakespeare, with the periodic exclamation: "Does anyone not have a partner!?" Matches were made. Five or six people partook in the complementary honeydew melon slices supplied by the organizers for those without partners. One boy admitted that he "came for the melon." Others frantically searched their purses for mints.

The Bwog is pissed at whoever this loser is trying to get naked pictures of Columbia girls over AIM. Mostly because the Bwog really does have a naked picture photo assignment due, and now nobody believes us. We know you do, though. Just send those pictures on in to bwgossip@columbia.edu and we'll make sure they get to the appropriate parties. Er, professors.

Offical public safety warning past the cut:

An anonymous tipster reports an equally anonymous Columbia student who is using Facebook profiles to find girls' screen names. Once he finds an appropriate screen name, the aforementioned student logs on under a false screen name—OneSweeetgurlie—and pretends to be a dear friend from home, all in an attempt to get a picture. Transcript of an actual conversation after the jump.

Doodles found in a notebook in the Hartley computer lab:

[context: drawing of a pirate holding bottle of 'grog' in its hook. Two colors of pen that I believe represent two authors. Distinction in italics]

DONATE!!!
What if the same guy buys you at auction again?!
Noooooo
So far we only have $11 of steph.
I hope that's enough.
Tell your BF to donate
I think he wants to bid, but he's one of those po' folk.

[Also: a hang man's game, only noose and head. Completed. Phrase below]
STEPH LOVES
MIDGETS

[in another color of pen, with arrows]
I HATE YOU
SKANK

No, you love me.

ONLY BECAUSE YOU TOLERATE MY PIRATE HOOKERDOM

Interesting question: did last month's Spec coverage of Columbia's Anachronistic Gentleman Dating service turn a non-story into a story for the NYT to cover or is this still something no one actually cares about? The Bwog votes for the latter, romanticism be damned.

Overheard in New York's humor generally relies on the fact that readers are missing context. One of yesterday's posts, however, relies on the fact that any Columbia student worth their salt knows exactly who they're talking about.

Guy #1: Which one did you make out with?
Guy #2: I dunno, I can't tell the difference. Whichever one is Jessica.

--Pearl's, Amsterdam Avenue

Graffiti from the 600 113th St. dormitory's basement bathroom after the jump. Bwog found it to be quite instructive.

DO NOT OPEN THIS POST ON A PUBLIC COMPUTER

Anna Corke reports that yesterday afternoon Dodge Hall had to be evacuated due to an electrical fire. The fire was caused by an art studio class on the fourth floor that had plugged in over a dozen electric heaters to keep their nudes from getting cold. No word on whether the nudes were allowed to dress themselves before evacuating.