Hey jobless alumni, why so glum? With your Columbia degree, the world is at your fingertips: first phone sex operating ("executive stress relief"), and now digital entrepreneurship. Bwog caught up with Kareem Shaya, former Fed editor-in-chief and inventor of famous website Send Barack Your Baby, which lately has gotten all sorts of attention from the rest of the internet, namely Gawker and CNN.

The website provides an opportunity for parents to ship their children in boxes to Illinois so that they might be kissed by a certain other Columbia grad. Except it doesn't actually, which is why the slideshow of Obama-supporting babies features no baby-in-box pictures, to remind us it's only a joke and that babies can't even vote.

One newsanchor in the CNN video also cautions us not to send an actual infant but "if you do, be sure to use bubble wrap." At which point she suffocates a doll with bubble wrap and sticks it in a carboard box. Mazel Tov Kareem!

Breaking CCSC/ESC/GSSC/SGA news in the form of new dark horse candidate Chas Carey, CC '08. Carey, running on the "Federalist Party" platform has decided to simultaneously run for presidency in all class councils. According to candidate Carey, his campaign is one of unification: "Class councils have long been powerless against the overwhelming might of Low Library, but if we yoke them together, we can scale the steps and crowthe people with Bollinger's wig," the statement read. You can read the full declaration of candidacy after the jump, including what will no doubt become a legendary campaign speech entitled "The Future Is Now; No, Now; No, Right Then; I Mean, Wait, Fuck"

Happening right now, on the Lerner Ramps, the Fed's erotic bake sale. Plates of homemade chocolate chip and sugar cookies shaped like breasts, penises, and other anatomical delicacies are overflowing on blue plates.

Bwog noticed a conspicuous lack of male genitalia, to which Fedster Sophie replied, "We both go to Barnard, so there's a bias," referring to fellow chef/saleswoman Hannah.

In true Columbia fashion, both vanilla and chocolate frosting were used in creating the very multi-ethnic buffet. "That was my idea," said Sophie.

All treats are going for a quarter, "though the twats might be worth more per size." Appetizing! And though the money isn't going towards any charitable ends, the bake sale is less a fundraiser and more of a Fedbash-awareness street performance. "Just come to Fedbash!" the three Fed editors manning the table yelled at Bwog.

Bwog asked how to spell "come" for this article and we were told it was up to our "editorial discretion."

So come to Fedbash, this weekend in Lerner Party Space. There will be burlesque dancers and perhaps leftovers.

- JNW

Because they're sooooo similar, not in terms of theme and content mind you, but because we so love them both. Hugs all around.

Firstly, Jester (with a cool new website!):

"Constant, murderous raping" (page 8)

Children: they're not that special! (page 9)

The most useful thing Jester has ever published (page 14)

National stereotyping, with guns! (page 20)

Morton Williams ad not very funny (page 25)

Y'know, I was wondering that myself. I mean, they really shouldn't be able to, should they? But then again, they wouldn't really be exploiting or causing pain to another living creature--quite the opposite, in most situations. What say you, vegans? (page 26)

And lastly:

It's the OxyClean that does it for me

White people: a field guide

The most useful thing the Fed has ever published

Guns!

Escorts!

And enough general hilarity to brighten up a morbidly gray, late November afternoon!

[T]he Science Fiction Society, for example, keeps its library of 20,000 novels in the Student Government Office on the fifth floor of Lerner.

Slash fiction is a type of fan fiction in which one or more media characters are involved in a homosexual relationship as a primary plot element. These gay pairings are often described in explicit detail, and largely occur outside the canon of the source. ...