If you bank with the HSBC branch between 102nd and 103rd, and had some late Friday withdrawls to make, Bwog suggests finding another location. Gothamist reports that the branch was robbed about two hours ago.

How big of a heist it was, and whether it relates to a robbery an hour earlier at a Chase branch between 72nd and 73rd, is unknown.

Those of you who have made a cottage industry out of lifting books from Butler Library probably never considered that you were condemning some poor librarian to weeks of tedious inventory work. Well book thieves, in today's "Why Are You Here?" meet the victim of your transgressions: John, entombed in the lower levels of the Butler stacks, counting up what's gone missing.

Why are you here?

I work here. I replace missing and stolen books.

Are there a lot of those?

Oh yeah.

Does this shatter your faith in the basic goodness of Columbia students?

No. I've been a student before too.

Are there some books or areas of study that get more burglarized than others?

Oh sure. All of that French lit crit, sci fi writers like Philip Dick and HP Lovecraft, all the beat stuff...and I think they should just buy a new copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude and The Blood Wedding every quarter, 'cuz they always go missing.

It's mad nice out right now, and we're in a windowless subterranean chamber. Bothered?

No, and sometimes when it's really hot in the summer it's a relief to come to work.

Scintillating! More self-justification to come!

- ARR

Jester is not happy. All of Jester's remaining new issues--at least 700 of them--have disappeared from the Student Government Office, where they were waiting patiently for distribution on Monday. If anyone has seen Jester's issues, please let them know, and if you yourself are the culprit, well then shame on you.

What are you going to do with them anyway?

Some time last evening, the statue of George Washington at the never-finished Cathedral of Saint John the Divine was beheaded in a blatant act of vandalism. A tipster reports that the head was replaced with a $1 bill--of course featuring the face our first President himself.

Alex Weinberg, who took the photo at left, was interviewed by Fox 5 regarding the incident. He has this unrelated anecdote:

"Once the cameras stopped rolling, the creepy camera guy began telling me about an extremely hot Barnard girl who had just been there. He said things like, "Oh, she was the complete package, let me tell you. Freshman and everything." He whistled and seemed to be getting a little worked up. I left."

Anyway...Where is the head? Who is the thief? Could it be revenge? Bwog wonders what Hammurabi would do if he were to capture the decapitator.

Thanks to Jacob Taber for the initial tip.

This just in from Public Safety. As always, Bwog suggests you remain vigilant and secure your valuables.

On October 18, 2006, between the hours of 7:00 p.m. and 7:35 p.m., the suspect described below, robbed or attempted to rob four different victims. Three of the crimes occurred on W. 112 St. between Riverside Drive and Amsterdam Ave. and the fourth occurred on W. 113 St. and Morningside Drive.

The suspect approached the victims, stated he had a gun and demanded money. Following the last robbery, the suspect fled into Morningside Park.

The suspect is described as:

Male/black/15-17 years/thin build/ medium complexion/clean shaven/5'6"-5'8"/

Last seen wearing a tan pullover shirt with a dark stripe across the chest, blue jeans torn at the knees, wearing a small backpack.