With Butler filled to the brim with exam-tide holiday cheer (not to mention unshowered overachievers) you may be seeking an alternative study spot, any study spot, whether on campus...or slightly, vaguely off. With that in mind Bwog follows correspondent Zack Hoopes inside the ghoulish, gothic depths of Burke Library at the Union Theological Seminary...

Monday, 9:38 pm

I arrive at 121st and Broadway, the entrance to UTS. I don't know where I'm going, and an awkward stare-down with the security guard ensues. He tells me (with a gesture over his shoulder) that the library is "over there." I walk over there. A sign says 'Burke Library' with an arrow pointing down a very, very, long hallway. The floor is made of some sort of brown tile/paneling/dried animal feces, with the greasy shine and unevenness of something that has been rubbed way too much over a very long time. This appearance is not exclusive to the floor. The ambiance of this building can only be described as that which gives you 'the willies.' It's a labyrinth in here, and not a fun one. I expect to run into David Bowie.

Unlike Butler, there is no guard to tell me I can't bring my sandwich into the building so they can sell me a sandwich inside. As I walk through the security scanners, the alarm goes off. The guy at the desk says "It's probably just broken. The only time it should go off is if you actually had a book from here." Apparently circulation at Burke is low. I ask for the pamphlet I've requested from the desk guy. He appears to be a model, upstanding hipster. One of those guys whose personal convictions you're always afraid you'll offend with a crass comment about God or saving the whales or some shit like that.