A grey day dawning over snow slowly turning to carbon-saturated black mush? A snowman keeled over like a post-1989 piece of Soviet stauary? It's all put us in the mood - for Eastern Europe! Kidding aside, here are some highlights from the Birch's fantastic winter issue:

A poem about...gerunds. And literal translations. Trust us, it's good.

Reference check: Nietzsche, Kundera, Benjamin, Kafka, Lukàcs...and, um, Job? All used in a noble effort to preserve memory...and seem well read.

Havel (ha, you thought you'd heard the last of him) on Communism: "it was built on blah blah blah"

Czech band describes paying to be imprisoned in a work camp, emo-ness of fans

Ex-President of Georgia admits: he still looks up to Stalin

A sharp-eyed tipster noticed that the rouguishly grizzled visage of erstwhile Artist-in- Residence Vaclav Havel has a near double: that of billionaire financier Kirk Kerkorian, a revolutionary in his own right.

Meanwhile, our man Sunil appears to have put his foot in his mouth regarding footballer David Beckham's move to the Los Angeles Galaxy. Bwog still loves you, professor.

Plus! The long anticipated second oeuvre of Robyn Schneider, BC '08, is now available for $15.99, and the Mao-suited GS student Michael Woodley has published a book on something that we probably couldn't understand. Anyone read them? Reviews welcome.

This just in-- the December issue of The Jester contains actual funny moments. They have only posted a pdf, so all links below go to the same place.

For 24 fans, something hilarious (page 2)

If the Supreme Court were more like the Sizzler (page 6)

Vaclav Havel as Judge Judy (page 23)

Bad Boys Bad Boys...whatcha gonna do (page 24)

The sheen of Havana Central's orange exterior has proved to be overwhelming.

Did you know that Václav Havel is at Columbia!?!? He's at COLUMBIA!

America: the world's most lovable oligar-militar-ocracy.

Roll out the pork barrel!

Diouf submits to Bollinger's pleas, agrees to tinker with the IAS evenings after work and some Saturday afternoons.

Are you a rich jerk?

A Project Runway party sounds like a good excuse for cosmos, and who doesn't like sake at an "Asian tea party?" And everyone knows going to clubs is only fun when you're trashed. Oh, wait, did we miss the point?

Whichever dude said "what's in a name?" had obviously not met Ultimate Fighting champ Tom Gallicchio. So guttural, so bellicose!

Havel lurks around the Knitting Factory? Weird. What's next, Mandela hanging around Delancey?

We're just going to link with the lede here: "Daterape Birdgirl says 'No!' to unauthorized intercourse!"

Seemingly the only Columbia heroes missing from Roone Arledge Auditorium today were Jeffrey Sachs and John Jay -- though both were certainly at the Havel/Clinton/PrezBo prestige-aganza in spirit. In an event that vindicated CUArts' alumni donation siphoning existence, the two former world leaders touched on both fighting TB and the Federalist Papers during their conversation, loosely based on the theme "Challenges of New Democracies."

Prezes Václav and Bill were certainly in top form, but it was PrezBo's thoroughly germane sprezzatura that stole the show. "One more lecture [at CU] and he'd be up for tenure," he sparkled, welcoming "Professor" Clinton onto the stage. Meanwhile, one student overheard in the audience clearly favored the Czech: "They should make Havel the new dean of SIPA," he said, "keep him around".

A few points into the discussion between the world (and "world university") leaders, Clinton took some time out to give a "pro-mo... for Hav-el," placing him in the ranks of Gandhi and Mandela. "No one should underestimate what he did in a peaceful way," he said. Responding in a playful tone, PrezBo asked, "President Havel, do you have anything nice to say about President Clinton?" Applause and diplomatic laughter erupted politely from the packed house (Clinton, however, couldn't contain himself, turning a vivid scarlet).

Looks like last Friday's CC Coursewide Lecture by the esteemed President Havel has had a real effect on class discussions. An anonymous tipster sends in this conversation, about Havel's belief in the legislation of morality, from a recent class meeting.

Student 1: I think that when private acts affect the community, that's when the government should address them.
Instructor: Are there certain private acts that don't spill out into the public?
Student 1: Like what?
Instructor: You know... Like if I dress up like a chicken and have my wife whip me. (Class laughs)
Instructor: It's a serious question! Because, in many places, it's legislated against. Like in Ireland.
Student 2: The chicken, specifically?

Bwog is certain that Vaclav would be proud.

Prince Prestige kisses Alma Mater, wakes her up from five-year sleep

High schoolers reach for stars, and, uh, here

Václav Havel "changes world," fails to impress "jaded" sophomores

"Molly said I was accepted to fill the need for a public school, non-LA, non-San Francisco lesbian. And I took it to heart, because I got a B- on my Chaucer midterm."

Meanwhile, the borough begins the anxiety young...

In their last time formally together until graduation 2009, sophomores were treated yesterday to a lecture by Grandfather Havel, who has done and written many wonderful things, and composes beautiful sentences...but may not have been the best choice for a CC lecturer.

"I don't like my English. I am not sure if it is understandable. Sometimes I hate it," he began, in his low gravelly voice. For 20 minutes, he told of the struggle against the Communist regime in the former Czechoslovakia, occasionally launching into Czech, which was translated. Find comments on the speech here.

Bwog overheard some speculation before the speech:

Guy: I wonder if Havel has a Facebook...You could just poke him...

Some other guy: Wait--this lecture is going to be a musical right, like a rock-opera?

And a narrative cartoon by Blue and White artist in residence Rachel Lindsay:

So, what the eff is going on in front of Wien? Last we checked, it looked like Mars after some misbegotten NASA craft crashed into the ground. We speculate that is has something to do with the boiler? Hopefully Wien-ers won't have to hire a human rights lawyer this time.

Also, according to informant and Bwog staffer Sara Vogel, our fascination puts us in good company:

"Someone in my CC class said he saw former President of the Czech Republic Vaclav Havel staring at this battlefield-esque construction site. He came back three hours later, and Vaclav was still there, asking questions about the site, entranced!"

The scene:

This just in from Elizabeth Mooers: Wien courtyard as set of film-noir at night...

Last night the University officially marked the beginning of all-around mensch Václav Havel's residence at Columbia with a swanky party at the Stone Rose Lounge in Columbus Circle. Among the trustees, donors, and administrators circulated two Bwog correspondents, who had cadged passes at a CU Arts pizza party. In a decidedly unsober phone call, they regaled the Bwog mothership with tales of the hors d'oeuvres (spicy cocktails! Kobe beef on a stick!) and attractive waitresses.

From what our staffers remembered from Havel's short remarks, he made a few verbal mistakes that were politely overlooked by partiers. "We don't want just to speak truth to power, but we want the power to speak to truth," [one of the drunk correspondents edits: this remark was Prezbo's, not Havel's] he said, noting later that he was really happy that he was getting to meet so many important people that night.

Bwog is happy to have met lots of important people too.

Photo credit: Elena Lagoutova (PrezBo and Havel at center)

In 702 Hamilton from 1-1:30 PM there will be a slideshow biography of Václav Havel's life with free Papa John's pizza and Nalgenes. You can also buy Havel's biography if you so choose. More info on this at www.havel.columbia.edu ...hurry, you know how that Hamilton elevator gets.