CUAssassins, ESC's finely crafted squirt-gun war, is returning to campus next weekend. Although we don't have a web link this time, VP Kim Manis wrote in to inform us that registration takes place next Friday and Saturday (February 15th-16th) on the ramps at Lerner.

The games begin on Thursday, the 21st. It's $20 for a team of four to play. It's not an event to miss -- unless you enjoy feeling safe and relaxed. And who does, really?

Not content with battling it out in the U.S. News and World Report rankings, the Ivies are throwing it down by way of that most gentlemanly of pastimes: war! Or rather, inter-campus computerized simulations of games that simulate war! Kind of!

Our buddies at GoCrossCampus have organized an Ivy League championship. While Columbia hasn't won a single outright basketball or football championship in the League, we all know that cross-country Risk is the glamour sport of the future. So take up arms, Columbians! Let our arrows blot out the sun! We'll make Princeton pine for 1777! Hoohah!

-ARR

With kids back in school, autumn is a perfect time for street-hitting activism to bubble up through the cracks in society. In the next few weeks, anyone seeking an interesting day-trip, a way to act on latent strains of idealism, or an excuse to visit friends at school in DC should check out one of the following events:

Declaration of Peace, Sept. 14-21

March on Washington, Sept. 15

People's March on Congress, Sept. 17

Protest Bush at the UN, Sept. 25

Encampment (in front of Congress) and March, Sept. 22-29

National anti-war mobilizations, Oct. 27

No snark from us in this department.

- KER

The Columbia Undergraduate Science Journal has fired another salvo in their ongoing feud against Jester, claiming responsibility for the recent disappearance of 700 issues of the most recent Jester issue. They've placed the once-missing issues all over campus, and attached a message: "Jester Promotes Scientific Fallacies." The full-page manifesto contains many of the CUSJ grievances, a sampling of which can be found on the (truly crazy, and we're not sure if it's in a good or bad way) website the CUSJ missive directs readers to.

First among them: "The 'Liquid Issue' is clearly not made of LIQUID at all but rather PAPER, which is SOLID. Jester should be ashamed for misleading readers regarding states of matter."

Too far, or not far enough? Catelyn Liu reproduced CUSJ's damning allegations in full, featured after the jump.

More letters added to Columbia's delicious alphabet soup

UAlbany students told their teetotalist public service announcement patronizing, lame. We know some substances that could fire their creativity...

Plus, without drinking, how could we learn that "blackout activity range[s] from sex to urination to fluent sentences in Hebrew" or forget "social standards, repercussions, your future, and other extraneous details"?

Morningside residents commemorate war anniversairy, bemoan lack of youngins

Meanwhile, one of the aforementioned youngins mocks "poorly-attended rallies," concocts bold new plan to stop the war: "Let your life be a counter-friction"

Last night, Columbia poli-sci professors Robert Jervis and Richard Betts tag-teamed Mount St. Vincent's College's Joseph Skelly on the situation in Iraq and Bwog artist Rachel Lindsay was on scene. This one was begging for a cartoon.

Nothing like a volatile region pushed to the brink of nuclear conflict to make onstage riots seem like academic minutiae. For perspective on the Korean peninsula's unfolding crisis, Bwog's Nicholas Frisch turned to Joseph Hong, SEAS'07, a Korean-American student, and a human rights activist.

On a personal level, how has this affected you in terms of friends or family in Korea?

Actually all my family is in South Korea right now, so it does cause great concern for me. But this isn't the first time this has happened, especially this past summer, North Korea tested the seven missiles, in 1994 there was a nuclear scare, and what came out of that was the Agreed Framework with Bill Clinton, so this nuclear crisis, brinksmanship, nuclear proliferation has always been something at the forefront. What really worries me is that although this is important for the international community, it's something that eclipses human rights crisis that's also going on there, so I'm worried that those within the US government who are backing regime change would only take the human rights crisis as a further vehicle for the regime change alongside the nuclear crisis.

So have you talked with your family yet?

No.