Midterms are starting up for many students. Actually, if you're in all the science classes that don't understand it is impossible to have more than one midterm, midterms have started up for many students. So there will be plenty of student-teacher email exchanges about missing classes, studying for the test, and other forms of electronic begging.

Just make sure your email does not end up on this forum, a long running-thread on the Chronicle for of Higher Education's website of professor's "favorite" student emails. Equally impressive to the hilariously pompous and/or illiterate requests from students are the really angry prof reactions that show that professors are just as bitter and cyncial as you are during midterms.

Presidents, presidents, presidents... and Shakira, Shakira!

Endorsement... lol

Brinkley stepped down, and a cryptic PrezBo email followed

The NROTC debate continued, and a cryptic PrezBo email followed

McCain violated the number one rule of presidential debates: never wear a striped tie on camera.

We enacted our revenge on Yale, as payback for summer's Gossip Girl slight.

-- WSL

Bwog received the following email a few minutes ago from Richard Adams, the (outgoing!) GSSC VP for Student Life. "I believe [the letter] stands on its own merits," he wrote somewhat ominously. Except the letter is nearly incomprehensible, and Adams seems to be simultaneously resigning and calling for a vote to determine whether he should resign.

According to Adams, he learned of his own resignation in an email sent to him last Friday from GSSC President Brody Berg. This "alarmed" his colleagues because... what?

Anyway, he takes the opportunity to lambast the GSSC, calling it "a body that is increasing out-of-touch with and irrelevant to the needs and concerns of the GS student body. It has become almost obsessively concerned with the needs of the Council rather than the constituency it needs to serve."

And then he resigns! And might do so again tomorrow!

Full letter after the jump.

Bwog informant "please remove my name" forwarded us an email from one litigious young graduate who slipped and fell in front of the library a few years ago. Naturally, she's suing Columbia and currently in the midst of trying to amass other slip victims to stregnthen her case. It is, after all, the American way.

However, she's having trouble finding and getting in touch with fellow accident veterans, but she's positive they exist -- she's even witnessed someone else slip in front of Butler as she was waiting for her own ambulance. "In our discovery claim against Columbia, they claimed there have been no previous reported complaints, falls, or injuries in that area, which I find very difficult to believe."

Full letter (personal information redacted) after the jump.

The Barnard College Activities Office has sent out an email advertising cheap tickets to Broadway shows. Which, in theory, is great. But the list of available shows is less than thrilling:

Though Bwog hears David Hyde Pierce was great in Name of Show, the dates just don't really work out.

The residents of a Columbia dorm floor received these bizarre emails from their RA (specifics redacted) on Thursday morning. Here they are, very sic, copy-and-pasted.

"Date: Sep 13, 2007 3:27 AM
Subject: Incident Tonight

Hi Everyone!

As some of you might have heard, an incident occured around 1:40am
this morning. There were screams, loud noises, Public Safety came,
the GA/AD came, and NYPD came. There has been allegations of physical
assalt, maybe even rape.

Whether that is true or not, I just want to let all of you know that
the issue is being dealt with right now on all levels of the Columbia
adminstration. I know that to some of you, that might not sound so
convincing/pleasing...but have faith in the system. They will get to
the bottem of this.

From an email sent to members of the sophomore class from one Cynthia Jennings:

"Hello -- this is a reminder that for tonight's Ellis Island event that you must wear your NSOP badge and bring your CUID. If you do not have these, you will be turned away at the security checkpoint before getting onto the ferries. If you need to have your badge replace please go to the NSOP office (505 Lerner) before 5 pm today. Replacement badges are $5.00.

Hope to see all of you tonight!"

Will it count if Bwog digs up its NSOP badge from last year? We want to get wasted at the spot our ancestors entered America. Thanks for the heads-up, Cynth!

Spec is only running Monday and Wednesday on this sunny, gloriously action-packed midterm week. So in the absence of our usual morning recap, we present this motley roundup of completely unrelated miscellany...

• Behold the latest email from the CC '09 class council, proving to seniors, perhaps, that they don't have it so bad. The missive begins by observing "Wollstonecraft is a hotty," and quickly goes downhill. A section titled "Free Food Just Doesn't Get Any Freer" describes the purchase and movement of the Broadway farmer's market a few meters inside, to Lerner. To wit, soon will be your "Last Chance to SEXIFY" the student center. Add an announcement for a campus group J. Sachs project called GROCC, at least three misspellings, four instances of triple exclamation points, and three announcements copied and pasted from other emails. Coda? "BEST OF LUCK ON THE MIDDIES". Beware, sophomores - it's never too early to start worrying about Class Day.

• You've probably only visited if you've taken the English department's seminar on children's literature, or if you're a GS student with a full house. The rest of us, apparently, are missing out: Bank Street Bookstore was recently named by New York magazine as the best indie book vendor (well, for kids) in town. Come to think of it, where else would you find a place featuring picture books in Urdu, Vietnamese, and Bengali - not to mention an edition of "Winnie the Pooh"...in Latin?

• Material on college sex finally running thin, the Daily News calls out Columbia students for throwing "narcissistic" parties. Which deadly sin will the tabloids tackle next week?

• Meanwhile, Dartmouth students discover a new way to be bored...as if they needed it?

-CJS

From the Barnard Theatre Department listserve comes this invitation from Christina Myers, the director of yet another campus production of The Vagina Monologues:

"So far, the rehearsals have been a blast and the show has a fresh and different presentation this year. Unfortunately, one of our talented cast members was hired by a theater company out of state to star in Romeo and Juliette. We now need to fill the role of 'My Vagina was My Village', a dramatic piece about a Bosnian war victim. I have attached the monologue."

Bwog couldn't resist taking a peak at the script, but it hasn't been quite sure what to say since. The opening reads, uh, pastoral enough:

"My vagina was green, water soft pink fields, cow mooing sun resting sweet boyfriend touching lightly with soft piece of blonde straw."

After that it gets a bit more...grizzly. And literal. Then somewhat metaphorical. Then very, very literal again. The entire scene is reproduced below the jump...if you're titillated by this sort of thing and feel you have what it takes to audition for the part of the aforementioned Bosnian, contact Christina at chrimye (at) gmail.com. The performances will be Feb. 13th, 14th, and 16th, the tech rehearsals, Feb. 8th and 9th.

Sometimes, when one wanders long enough in the inscrutable labyrinth of the bureaucracy, one confronts not the Minotaur of crude administrative obfuscation but a true gem. Here are selections from one such gem, the new "Leadership Life Newsletter" coughed up by SDA to "guide you [student leaders] through the challenging and important task of leading your peers". How ought an aspiring leader do it by the book? Read on...

From the section "Setting Expectations":

"Setting expectations is an important step in developing a team. This activity will enable everyone in your group to share what they expect of themselves, and each other as they work together to accomplish the common goal(s) of the group.

1. Pass around a 'bank' of pennies. Have each group member give the bank a shake and take however many pennies fall out (maximum 5 pennies).
2. Once everyone has pennies, have each group member come up with expectations that they have for members of the group (i.e., how the group will function, deal with conflict, etc.) Each member will need to share as many expectation thoughts as they have pennies.
3. Have everyone share their thoughts and create a visual expectations list. As a group, review and discuss the list making revisions as needed. The following questions are helpful in guiding your group's discussion:
-> Were you surprised to see some of the expectations listed? Which ones? Why?
-> How will the group confront individuals not living up to the agreed upon expectations?
-> How can you hold yourself accountable?
-> What do you think will be the most challenging expectation to uphold as a group?
After the list is collectively agreed upon, remind everyone that they are responsible for holding themselves and each other accountable.
4. Have each member keep one of their pennies as a reminder of the mutual expectations they all agreed to."

Their source for this wisdom? "The Big Binder of Leadership Activities"

More advice- and an appearance by CC'09 president George Krebs -after the jump.

Few busy Columbia College students have the time to fully peruse their class presidents' frequent and information-packed emails. Bwog is here to help. We've compiled and graded the best of your class and college presidents' comments from their most recent appearances in our inbox, just in time for midterms. From the '10s to the '07s to Seth Flaxman, the grand-poobah of CCSC emails himself, here are selections from the bright young minds representing you:

Class of '10
President: Mark Modesitt

Features: Appointment of about 18,000 Coordinators, plus a Historian

Choice quotes:
"Just to forewarn you, a lot of the blurbs I was given to add to this e-mail were quite lengthy, so I went ahead and summarized them."

"Have you ever been locked out of your room in just a towel or underwear?"

Comments: Ah, the innocence of freshman year. Remember that social awkwardness that caused you to precede everything with caveats, or your surprise at seeing half-clad bodies wandering the halls? Mark, you take us back. A

Check out the rest after the jump...

Our, um, highest congratulations to the art history department, who have installed a coffee machine in a lounge in Schermerhorn. They've circulated the news like it's the birth of the Messiah. Or something.

And they're going to charge!?

Read the gospel email after the jump.